


we looked each day and night in the eye

by ell (amywaited)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Marauders - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Artificial Intelligence, BAMF Remus Lupin, Cute, Cyberpunk, Everybody Lives, Family, Fluff, Futuristic, M/M, Pining, Robots, Sailors, Tags to be added, handwavey science, handwavey space laws, honestly kinda a lot of pining, slowburn, so much artistic license. so much., soft, some disgustingly handwavey science, space, space travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24189205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amywaited/pseuds/ell
Summary: Sirius looks at him, and wonders how Remus manages to wear his heart on his sleeve and yet still keep himself hidden from view.“I’m sorry James invited you to fly with us,” he says. Because he is. Because there’s nothing else to say.“Why?”“Because you shouldn’t have to be put in danger again.”“I’ve been looking for an excuse to run away since I graduated,” Remus says. “Freedom comes at a price. It feels like I’ve been waiting for you for years.”
Relationships: James Potter & Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from [greatest day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHzMLGH1Rfs) by take that. 
> 
> hope u enjoy this!!
> 
> this fic takes canon by the ears and throws it out the window. artistic license?

The day begins as most days do for Sirius. He wakes in the little cabin bed (the kind that seems to have more rocks involved than actual comfort), bangs his head on the low, sloped ceiling as he sits up and hears Lily laugh at him from above. Then he dresses in a rather ragged outfit (a white-turned-brown shirt and brown-turned-green (from an unfortunate incident with semi-sentient algae) cargo pants, pockets fully stocked with wires and gears and engine grease). He goes up to the main deck, where Lily shoves a bowl of supplemented porridge that’s rather reminiscent of gone off jelly under his nose and snaps a pair of suspenders onto his trousers while he eats (although it would be more accurate to say ‘slurps’). 

Then, he runs checks across the whole ship, noting down the bits that need updating and fixing and changing. Lily adjusts their flight course, and oils the guns. Around lunchtime, she calls him to sit at their little table and puts a tin mug of weak tea in front of him with a smile. 

“We’ll be at the market within the day,” she says. “James’ll meet us there. He says he’s found what we were looking for.”

“Really?” Sirius asks. Last he heard, James was off planet-hopping to try and find a specific part for his pet project. “I thought he was going off to Omega-3 to look for it.”

Lily shrugs. “Apparently, he found it at M-27. It makes our job easier, though. We don’t have to warp to Omega now. And we were already in Jagir.”

“Mmh. The M-27 marketplace is much bigger than Omega-3, too. We’ll spend a few days there, right? The ship needs some work. Especially the exo-skeleton.”

“Yeah,” Lily nods. “I noticed that too. Some of the planks are eroding away faster than I’m comfortable with, and the gears are getting a bit sticky.”

“Are they?” Sirius says. He frowns. “I wonder why the planks are going. We haven’t had anything erosive on them recently, have we?”

“Maybe they just need higher protection. We’ve been jumping through new atmospheres recently. It might just be unfamiliar chemical makeup.” 

“We’ll find a chemical engineer and get them to look us over,” Sirius says. “I’d get Marls in, but she’s gone to the Zebu system with Dorcas.”

“Mm. She sent a telecard through earlier, by the way. Nice cityscape,” Lily says. “Apparently, Zebu went power-free the other week. It was on the news, in an attempt to preserve their solar sightseeing.”

“What business does Zebu get from solar tours?” Sirius says. “They’re miles out from anywhere, you won’t see anything.”

Lily shrugs. “That’s just what they said on the news. Maybe Marlene will tell us when they get back. It’s supposed to be a good honeymoon spot.”

“Yeah, if you think under-the-radar deals and poor stars are romantic.”

Lily laughs. She finishes the dregs of her tea. “Maybe it appeals to some, you heartless bastard.”

“You’re more likely to get arrested than anything,” Sirius says. “Might appeal to James, though.” 

“Well, don’t mention it in any case,” Lily says. “Keep yourself busy till skyfall, okay? We’ll probably dock by then. Count your pocket change, or something.”

“Yes, Captain,” Sirius says, saluting Lily as she leaves to the control room. He decides to take her advice and pulls up their wallet records from his watch hologram, assessing their spending from the past month and allocating their funds to what they need now. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Oi, Red!”

“Sorry!” Lily calls back. “System turbulence. We’re in the Manus system! Twenty-six planets to go.”

“Thank the deities,” Sirius says. “Forty kalts to go, then.”

Lily cheers. “Thirty-nine! Get in here and help me navigate, Padfoot.”

Sirius laughs, pushing open the control door and sliding into the second seat at the panel. Lily looks crazed in the way that flying always makes her. Their gravity adjusts to the new atmosphere, causing her hair to float around above her head like an auburn halo as it settles, and her Navi-goggles are pushed up on her forehead. 

“Where do you want me?” Sirius asks. He’s long since learnt that Lily, as their resident pilot and confirmed control freak, is very particular and awesome at flying. Whatever he and James have picked up from a life in the skies has paled to what she spent years studying, and thus they always defer to her now. 

“Set the fuel consumption ready to dock,” she orders. “Make sure it’s federally accepted, this time. Then you can help me steer. I hate flying through commercial systems. So many pedestrians.”

As if to prove her point, a small family craft cuts across their path with no regard for their ship. Lily curses. Before he set off, Sirius had thought that most fliers would have been afraid of a larger ship, obviously from a battle fleet and stocked with ammunition and supplies. Now, he knows better. 

“I haven’t seen one of those models for years,” Sirius says. “Must be a kid learning to fly.”

“Stupid,” Lily grumbles as she pushes their ship forward. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agrees. He knows better than to point out that she was also once one of them. “Stupid.”

It takes another thirty-five kalts of stopping and starting and cursing before they approach the M-27 docking stations. Sirius sets their fuels and the speeds and Lily begins to park. 

The M-27 docks are always busy, bustling with pit-stoppers and holiday goers in their small commercial crafts and the big, hulking long-haul fliers alike. Sirius and Lily fall into the middle category - fit for long-haul but still small enough to pass by the laws assigned to the bigger ships. For a crew of three, Sirius has never minded their lack of space. He and James are used to living in another’s pockets.

Lily whoops when she finally switches the engine off. “I’ve been wanting to do that for days. My legs are getting cramped.”

Sirius laughs, hopping out of the seat and pulling his jacket out. It’s a long, Sapien leather number, down to his mid-shin. James and Lily had threaded it with protective omens as a birthday present. “Come on, then. James’ll be waiting. I went through the finances earlier and set aside enough for repairs, for leisure, and some spare.”

“Good idea,” Lily says. She gets out her own coat, and pulls on a different pair of goggles. Sirius recognises these ones as her Aether-Goggles, the ones that’ll connect her to the ship mainframe and Planet hub, allowing her access to anything she can get. “James said he’ll meet us at the tix barriers.”

Sirius nods. With their merchant passes, the tix barriers at market planets are always a breeze to get through. He makes sure to clip his watch hologram to his wrist and pull up the list of repairs. 

“We need a new magnet wrench,” he says, partly to Lily and partly to himself. 

“And a new nano-spanner.”

“Do we?”

Lily nods gravely. “Yeah. It broke when I tried to change the gears earlier.”

“Why were you using the nano-spanner to change gears?” Sirius asks, writing it down to his list.

“I told you, they’re getting sticky. They need replacing.”

“They don’t need repla-“

“They need replacing,” Lily says firmly. “Right. Let’s plug in and go to find James.”

Sirius grumbles under his breath as Lily leads the way off their ship, putting down ‘replace gears’ on the list reluctantly. He sets about locking up the doors whilst she plugs their cables into the power banks and tethers, double and triple-checking them just in case. That lesson was learnt after their lifeship flew free from a dock a year after they had all set off together. 

Lily pulls out the passes to let them through the barriers, already looking for James. She’s got some kind of sixth sense for him, Sirius thinks. Navigation and flying are two of her greatest talents, and that somehow includes being able to find James and himself immediately. She sets off towards the left corner, Sirius following automatically. He lets her pay for their dock station and activate their passes and then she’s jumping straight into James’s arms. 

It’s been a few solar rounds since they last saw him, after they dropped him off at the Alpha system warp stop, and the ship is considerably quieter without him there. 

James laughs. Sirius would never admit it, but he has missed him. A little bit. “Thank God you’re here finally,” he says, spinning Lily round. “I was beginning to forget you.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lily says, tapping his arm. He lets her down, twisting their hands together instead. “Who’s this?”

That's when Sirius notices the other man standing just to the right of James. Tall, tall enough to be not quite sapient. Long and thin - Sirius is reminded of a nicer, friendly version of an old Sapien video game character - with hollow cheeks but warm, molten gold eyes and matching hair. Scars twist their way down his face, but he wears them well. 

“Oh!” James exclaims, turning to the man. “This is Remus Lupin. I found him when I warped here and we got to know each other. He’s going to travel with us.”

“He is?” Sirius frowns. The extra person was not something he factored in when he considered all the repairs they’d need. 

“Yep,” James says. “He doesn’t have anywhere to go, so I offered. I said you’d both be okay with it.”

“That’s fine,” Lily says. “We’ll have to adjust our repairs slightly, but…”

Sirius grimaces, already pulling up his list again. “Already on it. You wouldn’t happen to know a chemical engineer, would you?”

Remus makes a soft sort of scoffing sound. “Um. I am one.”

Lily and Sirius turn to him. “You are?” Lily says. 

“Really?” Sirius asks. 

Remus nods. “Yeah. Why?”

“We need someone to look at our ship planks,” Lily says. “They’re eroding a lot faster than I’m happy with. We’ve been travelling through some unfamiliar atmospheres but we’ve never had that problem before, and we haven’t engaged in any space conflict recently. So there’s no reason why it should be happening.”

“That’s odd,” James says. “We only replaced them not long ago, too.”

Sirius nods. “Yeah. It is odd. Maybe we just need stronger protection, but I want to know what it is eroding them anyway. We’ll get some more planks while we’re here.”

“I saw your list,” James says. “Since when did the gears need replacing?”

“Since Lily used the nano-spanner to change them-“

“They needed replacing before that!”

“-and broke the spanner too,” Sirius finishes. “Lils, why don’t you and Remus get some more foodstuffs, then. Then you could get samples from our ship and assess them too. I’ll get the tech, and James can get the build materials.”

“Sounds good,” James says. “Meet back here for eight? Then we can work on the ship together.”

Lily nods. “Sure. Don’t spend too much, though. Not all of the payment transfers have activated yet.”

“We’ll be responsible,” James says. “Promise.”

She makes a face, before wrapping an arm around Remus’s and pulling him towards the food stalls without looking back. James nudges Sirius with a grin. 

“Swear her arse gets better every day.”

Sirius glares at him. “At least one of us is noticing,” he says. “No wonder it took you so long to get a snog.”

James just laughs. “Yeah, alright. I did miss you, you know.”

“How kind.”

“Deep space is lonely when you’re on your own,” James says, nudging Sirius with his elbow. “Makes me glad I found you when I did. And now we’ve got Remus too!”

“You’re making a habit of picking up strays,” Sirius tells him. 

“Mmh,” James hums. “Plumeer and starcakes later? I think we need a catch up.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Sirius says. This is what he’s been waiting for - cheap, bitter space booze and the plastic-y sugar cake bars you get from the warp station vending machines. He’s been looking forward to this ever since James left. 

“I’ll miss you,” James says, more sincere than either of them expected, Sirius thinks. He starts walking towards the west side of the market - dedicated to carpentry, metalwork, and textiles for ships. 

Sirius has time to say: “I’ll see you soon!” before he’s alone in the docking station. With Lily and this Remus fellow perusing the food stalls, and James off collecting their materials, Sirius allows himself several moments just to watch, to breathe. 

He hasn’t been to M-27 for years - to any of the Manus planets for years, really. Not that he’s counting. He, Lily, and James tend to skulk around the underbelly of the universe, in the X system, and their neighbours. With a less than savoury market planet - perfect for James’s ‘projects’ and Sirius’s morally corrupt sense of curiosity - and people always in need of work, it had proven to be a suitable home base. 

That’s not to say they never ventured out of the way. Lily enjoyed the higher systems, enjoyed the more sapient-orientated planets. Born from the stars, she seems enamoured with solid ground and green grass beneath her. 

Sirius has no such whims. He’s spent far too long in one place, locked in his family home until he escaped - he was named for a star, it only makes sense that he would seek them out. The romantic notion of running away was much less romantic once he’d actually stolen the ship, of course, but then James found him. And then Lily found them, and it was like all their fates had aligned. 

Sirius could entertain his happiness amongst the skies - exactly where he wants to be.

He ventures towards the first stall he finds, a grimy looking set up with a mishmash of devices scattered across the tables. He picks through them, sifting good from bad in his head and trying to see where they’d fit into the ship. 

“Excuse me? Can I help you?”

He puts down the mess of wires he’d been examining and turns to the shop staff standing beside him. “No, thanks. I’m just looking for some bits.”

They smile at him in a fake sort of way. “Of course. Let me know if you need anything.”

Sirius smiles and nods at them, plucking another stretch of cable from the table. It’d do. He picks up a tiny, tiny little cog and a battery pack that he’s never seen before in his life as well, and goes to pay. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It doesn’t actually take that long to find all the pieces he needs (and several he didn’t). It means he can head back towards the ship and get to work on installing them while they wait for James to come back. As much as he enjoys the market planets, they get overwhelming quickly. Hopefully, they can be out of here within a few sols. 

“You’re back soon,” Lily says, once he lets himself into the ship. She’s sitting at what only just passes as a kitchen table with Remus, who’s going over a sheet of paper like it holds all of the answers to the universe. 

“I found the stuff I needed pretty easily,” Sirius says. “I thought you two were stocking up on food.”

“We did,” Lily says. “We weren’t out of much to start with, and we got Remus some items if he’s going to stay aboard with us anyway. Then we came back, so he could look at our specs and try and sort out this erosion. You know, he studied at Beauxbatons.”

“What’s Beauxbatons?” Sirius asks. 

“Only one of the most elite schools for science technology in the entirety of space!” Lily says, like he should have already known. 

“It’s not that special,” Remus says, still staring reverently at the paper. “And I only got in on a scholarship. Barely passed my exams.”

“It’s still impressive,” Lily insists. “I feel much more confident having a Beauxbatons graduate on board, fixing our ship, in place of James, who dropped out of college in the second year. He didn’t even study chemistry!”

“What did he study?” Remus asks. 

“Nursing,” Lily and Sirius say at the same time. 

Sirius can hardly stop staring at the bitten down grin curling up on Remus’s lips. “Seriously?”

Lily looks world-weary. “Deadly serious.”

“I mean, that kind of explains a lot,” Remus says, like he’s trying not to offend them. “I don’t really know how your ship had lasted… this long.”

“It’s that bad?” Lily says. 

Remus looks grim when he says, “yeah. I mean, I can fix it, but it might take a few days. If you hadn’t have docked now, you probably would have fallen apart within the week.”

“Shit,” Sirius says. “Good thing you’re here now, huh?”

Remus smiles at him. For a second, it’s like they’re the only two people existing in the universe. 

The spell breaks when Lily sneezes. “Sorry. That only happens when James gets near.”

Sirius laughs as soon as James comes in too. He looks offended in the kind of way that comes when you would give your life for the other person. “I heard that.”

Lily pecks him on the cheek. “Did you get your materials?”

“Yeah,” James says, “did you figure out what’s going on with the ship’s exo-skeleton?”

“It’s fixable,” says Remus, “at least, I think I can fix it. As far as I can tell, something in your protective coating is fucking with the chemical make up of the actual planks. It’s reacting weirdly with the atmospheres you’ve flown through recently - maybe you went through a dodgy warp stop at some point, or you used a generic brand of coating, I don’t know.”

“The last time we warped with the ship was back in the Alpha system,” Lily says. “We used all the official portals too, so if something was screwing up there, then surely we wouldn’t be the only ship affected? It would be a far more widespread issue.”

“I’d be highly concerned if Alpha warp portals were having issues,” Remus agrees. “It must be something with your protection coat. Which brand do you use?”

“Sleekeazies,” James says, “we’ve been using it since we first started flying and never had any issues.”

“Weird,” Remus bites his lip. Sirius tries not to stare. “Sleekeazies is held in pretty high regard, too. Well, I might be wrong. Maybe you picked up a parasite while travelling; it wouldn’t be unheard of. I’d have to do further testing, though. We might end up docked here for a couple of weeks.”

“We’ll stay as long as we have to,” Lily says immediately. “I don’t want to risk flying in an unsafe ship unless I have to.”

James agrees. “Lily’s right. I’d rather stay on a dirty market planet than risk it any further. Our next stop is in the lower systems, isn’t it?”

“We’ve got a job in Y-4X,” Sirius says.

“Definitely sort the exo out before you go there, then,” Remus says. “Is it alright if I take some samples from the ship? I’ve got my own equipment but it’s back in, um. Where I was living before.”

“We can go get that, right?” Sirius says, “I’ll go with you.”

Remus blushes gold. “Are you sure? It’s nothing… special, I can get it on my own.”

“He’ll go with you,” Lily says. “James and I want some alone time.”

Sirius gags, which is customary whenever they bring this up. “Ew. Just stay away from my bunk.”

If anything, Remus’s flush gets brighter, like actual sunlight emanating from high on his cheekbones. “Right. Um. We’ll give you a few hours then.”

James’s laughter follows them all the way out of the ship.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Remus lives on the very edge of the marketplace, in the sort of no-mans-land before the suburbs begin, on what looks like some sort of fire escape, like one of the ones they have on the old Sapien planets, the ones that serve no real purpose here other than to be hippie and vintage. He lives on a rusty fire escape, surrounded by other beings living on a rusty fire escape. He has a singular backpack, supposedly containing all of his belongings, and a scuffed looking bedroll. 

He also looks incredibly ashamed when he catches Sirius looking around. 

“This is homely,” Sirius remarks, in the hopes it’ll put Remus more at ease. It doesn’t seem to work. 

“You don’t have to say that,” he says. “I know it’s awful. That’s why James said I could travel with you. Get away from here.”

“It’s not that bad,” Sirius tries to say. 

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” Remus says. He begins to rifle through the backpack. “It’s awful. Not many people want to give me a home, or a job, these days.”

“Why not?” Sirius asks. “You seem like a perfectly normal guy to me. Smart. Chemical engineers are always in demand. If Beauxbatons is as elite as you say, then I doubt you’d have any trouble finding someone to hire you.”

“I have a thing,” Remus says. It’s wonderfully avoidant, like he’s never actually said it aloud before. “It scares people. They don’t want to hire me.”

“Well, no offence,” Sirius says, “but you don’t seem that scary to me.”

Remus pauses in his motions to look up at Sirius. He hardly moves a muscle, going stock still, but he widens his mouth and his eyes. His teeth begin to elongate to sharp points, like a wolf’s, and his pupils narrow to slits.

“Wow,” Sirius says. Remus scoffs, and his features return to what they were before. “So what are you, then? Some sort of metamorph?”

“My mother was a Luna morph,” Remus says.

“What are they?”

“They can morph into anything, but only when there’s a new moon,” he explains. “I got that gene from her. But I was born under a full moon. It mutated the gene. I thought it was just a legend, but no. I can change at will, but only into wolfish creatures.”

“How could that scare people? Surely you just turn into a big, fluffy dog,” Sirius says. Remus gets to work on zipping his backpack back up. 

“I wish. It’s a stereotype, mostly. Meta species are rarely trusted anyway, you know, people don’t trust you if you can change your face whenever you want,” Remus says, “mine is just worse. I can change into a deadly monster. That’s why I don’t tell people. I can’t get jobs, because they’ll see my morph status, and my birth date, and get suspicious. Companies don’t hire me if they think I might be trouble.”

“Good thing James found you when he did, then,” Sirius says, for lack of anything else to say. “Are you ready to head back again?”

Remus nods. “Yeah. Do you mind if I say goodbye to some people first? I doubt we’ll be coming back here for a while.”

“You’re probably right. But we can visit,” Sirius says. “We’ll make you some sort of comms device - we all have one. I’ve got my wrist strap, Lily has her goggles HUD and James has a basic mobile device. Then you can share our contact number and stay in touch, if you want.”

Remus makes a face like Sirius has just offered him an entire planet. “Are you sure?”

“Sure I’m sure. We can’t have a member of our crew without a way to contact them at any time.”

“You and your friends are doing way too much for me,” Remus says. He heaved his bag over his shoulder and begins to lead Sirius to another platform on the fire escape. 

“You’re practically saving our lives by working on the ship, free of charge. The least we can do is offer you some free lodging and a place in the crew. It’s not the most glamourous, but it’s better than…”

“Better than here?” Remus suggests. Sirius doesn’t particularly want to agree, even though it’s right. “Yeah. Can you wait here for a sec? I won’t be long while I say bye to everyone.”

“Sure,” Sirius says. He makes himself comfortable leaning against the iron railing of the fire escape and shoots Lily a message through his comm unit. 

**Sirius** : Remus lives on a fire escape.

**Lily** : A fire escape?! How retro.

**Sirius** : No, like he actually lives here. It’s fucked up. 

**Lily** : It can’t be that bad. 

**Sirius** : It is. Good thing James found him when he did. I hate to think of him hanging around here. 

“I’m ready to go.”

That was quicker than Sirius expected. Remus doesn’t even look sad to be leaving, but really, he wouldn’t be if he was leaving a place like this either. “You sure?”

Remus nods. “Yep. Most people are out trying to find work right now, anyway. But I didn’t make many friends here. We can go back to your ship.”

“It’s our ship now,” Sirius says, “after all, you’re our official chem engineer.”

Remus smiles. It’s positively beautiful. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

James and Lily are giggling like school children when they reboard. It makes Sirius instantly suspicious, in a sort of loving, familial way. Lily has her hands wrapped around a mug, smiling at James in that delightfully sickening way that makes Sirius feel both incredibly happy for them and painfully like a third wheel. 

“Oh! You’re back!” James says. “Did you get everything?”

Remus, with his singular backpack slung over one shoulder, nods. “Yeah. Is there anywhere I can set my equipment up?”

Lily looks doubtful. “Is that all you have?”

“It’s more than it looks,” Remus says, looking like he’s trying to convince himself as much as them. 

“You can set up in my bunk room,” Sirius says. “We only have two bunk rooms, so James and Lily share, and we’ll have to share. There’s desks in there and I don’t use mine so you can have it.”

“Are you sure? Chemicals can be kinda unpredictable. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt in your sleep.”

“I’m sure,” Sirius says. “We’re sort of low on space here so we have to make do.”

“Low on space?” James says, “have you looked out the windows recently?”

Lily drains her cup and chucks it at James. 

It makes Remus laugh. Sirius decides there and then that he’d do anything physically possible to make him laugh as much as he can. “If you say your bunk room is fine for some experiments, then it’ll be on your own head.”

“Did Lily give you a tour yet?” Sirius asks. Remus shakes his head. “Well, it’s not too complicated. We have the control deck at the front of the ship, through the door labeled ‘Control Deck’. Obviously.”

“You changed it?” James says. 

“Control Dick was incredibly immature,” Lily tells him. 

“This is our common area,” Sirius continues, resolutely ignoring James and Lily. “If you go through the door over there, that’s the bathroom. Then the ladder in the corner goes below deck to the bunks. Down there, there’s a second bathroom, and a ladder to the engines and stuff.”

“And our life ship is kept under the control board,” Lily says. “If you ever need it. We have emergency space suits stashed across the whole ship.”

“Okay,” Remus says. “I guess there’s not much room to get lost in. Can I go get set up, then?”

“Yeah, come on,” Sirius leads Remus into the lower deck. He feels like a teenager panicking about letting a girl in his room for the first time, hoping against hope that he hid all his rom coms and picked his pants up off the floor. 

Thankfully, there are no pants. He does, however, have his posters and pictures adorning the walls, and Remus looks at them all in wonder. He traces a finger along each of their edges reverently. 

“I’ve never seen photos like this before,” he says, stopping below one of David Bowie. “Who is this?”

“David Bowie. He was a 1970s Sapien musician,” Sirius says. He’s too distracted watching Remus’s eyes light up. 

“1970s? That was hundreds of years ago.”

Sirius shrugs. ”I think old sapient music is so much better. Now music is just highly decorated EDM.”

“What’s EDM?”

“You’ve never heard EDM?” Sirius asks. “Well, you’re lucky. James is obsessed with it. It’s awful.”

Remus chuckles. “I never really had much of an opportunity to listen to music. Unless someone played it on the Escapes, we didn’t get much of it.”

“I’ll have to rectify that immediately,” Sirius says. “EDM is electronic dance music. They had it in Bowie’s day, but it wasn’t much better than it is today. James plays it all the time, so I’m sure you’ll hear some soon. But you’ll regret ever being curious.”

“Maybe you could show me some of your music,” Remus says shyly. “Are all your pictures of musicians?”

“Some of them,” Sirius says. “They’re all old sapient shit. Most people hate them these days.”

“I doubt most people have heard of them. The 1900s was ages ago!”

Sirius laughs too. “You’re right. I just think it’s more real, you know? It’s not just tapping buttons on a screen and computer-generated words.”

“Right. So who’s on this one?” Remus asks, pointing to the poster next to Bowie. 

“That’s Queen. Still the 1970s. They did a song with Bowie.”

“And this?” Remus says. He traces his finger along Jimi Hendrix’s jawline. 

“Jimi Hendrix. Bad _ ass  _ guitarist.”

“Guitar?”

“Sapient instrument,” Sirius says. “Kind of like a harperon.”

Remus’s eyes light up with recognition. “ _ Oh.  _ Cool! What’s this one?”

“The Beatles,” Sirius says. “Lily likes them.”

“They look soft,” Remus remarks. He moves to the final poster. “What’s this one?”

“ABBA,” Sirius says. He’s almost glad Remus doesn’t recognise them. “They’re a Swedish band, but they’re super popular. Even James’ll tolerate their songs.”

“High praise,” Remus says. “These posters all look super old.”

“They are,” Sirius says. “I got them as a kid. I was trying to rebel against my family; they wanted me to listen to the CG classical shit, like the rest of them. I hated it, so I bought loads of these posters to spite them. Then I left, and most of my posters got torn up or burnt. These are only the ones I managed to salvage.”

Remus’s molten sunshine eyes look heartbroken for him. “That’s awful. Your family shouldn’t have done that with your belongings.”

Sirius shrugs. He sits down on the edge of his bunk. “It’s far from the worst thing they did. That’s why I left.”

Remus sits beside him, letting his backpack rest between their knees. “You’d think after so many years of improvement and education, families would love better than they do.”

“You’d think.”

“My mum was taken into custody when I was seventeen,” Remus says. “For charges of hiding a dangerous individual. Me. I was still a minor at the time, so I wouldn’t be in trouble unless I hurt someone. She told me to run, so I did. I changed my entire identity, hid for as long as I could, got my degree, and tried to make things work for me.”

“What about your dad?”

“Died when I was three,” Remus says, “things haven’t got much better, but I’ve always liked being among stars. It’s so much more peaceful than solid ground.”

“If solid ground has let us down so much, why wouldn’t we want to stay above it?” Sirius says. Remus shrugs, and Sirius can feel a warm breath curl around the shell of his ear. 

“I should get started on testing your planks,” Remus says, loud after several moments of silence. “The sooner I know what’s up with them, the sooner we can fix it.”

“Oh- sure. Of course,” Sirius says. “Feel free to move what you need to. Take samples, whatever. Shout if you need something. I’m going to go back up and work on some basic repairs. There should be someone around if you need anyone.”

“Thanks,” Remus says, painfully genuine, and then Sirius leaves him to it. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“So what do you think of Remus?” James says, later that evening, over two bottles of plumeer and a platter of starcakes. “Like, what do you  _ really  _ think of him?”

Sirius shrugs, and mumbles something around a mouthful of sticky cake. “I dunno. He seems nice. Clever.”

“Well, obviously. But you went to where he lived. What did you think?”

“He was living on a fire escape. He had one bag. I don’t know, James. He said people wouldn’t hire him,” he refrains from mentioning the metamorph part, since it’s not his secret to tell, “But he still seems kind and clever and humble. I like him.”

“Good,” James says. “He doesn’t seem fully Sapien, does he?”

“People rarely are full sapient these days,” Sirius says. 

“No, I know. I just mean he looks mostly Sapien, he sounds it, he dresses it, even. But there’s something about him that’s just off.”

“He has yellow eyes,” Sirius suggests. “He’s about seven inches taller than you are, he blushes gold. They’re not all exactly sapient characteristics.”

“He’s not seven inches-!”

“He definitely is.”

James takes a sip of his plumeer. “Fine. So you like him?”

“Yes, I like him. It’ll be good to have him on board,” Sirius says. “If he wants to stay, that is.”

“I’m sure he will. It’ll be nice to have a full ship for once.”

“You and your big ego fill up more than enough space,” Sirius replies. “It will be nice, though. Did you hear about Zebu’s new power free policy?”

“What, the one where they’re trying to improve their solar tour businesses?” James scoffs. “Hah. No one goes to fucking Zebu for solar tours these days.”

“That’s what I said! Lily said it might be a good honeymoon spot. It’s ridiculous. If any system is going to go power free it should be Favilla. At least they have some good moons.”

“Or Termini, they can see the Spires of Lundr from their planets,” James says, “Hey, maybe we should go there.”

“What, to Termini?”

“Yeah. We haven’t gone sightspotting in ages! It’d be nice to show Remus around some other planets, don’t you think? I don’t think he’s been any further than M-26,” James says. 

Sirius shrugs. He picks apart another starcake, just for something to do with his hands. “We could. We’ll probably only have time to fix the exo-planks before our job on Y-4X, but we could go after that’s done.”

“I haven’t been to Termini in ages,” James says. “When was the last time? It must have been when we did that work for Slughorn,”

“Must’ve been. I can hardly remember that.”

James hums. “Me neither. We should get back.”

“We should,” Sirius agrees. “One more bottle?”

James grins, “one more bottle.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Remus thinks the erosion on our planks might be sabotage,” Sirius says the next morning. He and Lily are the only ones up, so far, and she’s busy fixing two mugs of tea. “From my family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire fic was literally just an excuse for me to write mcgonagall as a robot/ai

“This looks incredibly scientific,” Sirius says, once he gets back to the ship and into his (their) bunk room. 

Remus has several tubes and burners and scopes set out across the desks, and he’s bent over a notetab device. His hair seems even messier than it did when Sirius first saw him. 

He looks up and smiles. “It’s not too bad,” he says, “I can explain it if you want?”

“As much as I’d love to hear, I doubt I’d understand a word of it,” Sirius says. “Have you and Lily eaten anything?”

“Yeah. She said if you and James were out, then we’d order in,” Remus says. He indicates an empty cardboard pot on the very corner of the desk. “We got spaceweeds.”

“Cool,” Sirius says. “So how’s your experiment going?”

“It’s going,” Remus says. He sounds doubtful. “It could be worse. Nothing’s exploded yet.”

“The bar sounds pretty low.”

Remus huffs out his laugh. “Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t want to make you all stay docked here for too long, so I’m trying to work it out as fast as I can. But I’ve never seen anything like this. So far, it looks made, not natural, which automatically makes it harder.”

“You mean someone might have, what, sabotaged our ship?” Sirius asks.

“I hate to say it, but,” Remus pauses. “Yeah. Maybe. I’m trying to identify as much of it as I can, but I don’t even know who could have made it. Do you guys have any hardcore enemies, or something?”

“Not really,” Sirius says, “I mean, we don’t really talk to people outside of our ship. We’ve hardly seen people recently, either. Lily doesn’t see her family any more, and James’s wouldn’t do this. I haven’t seen mine since I left, but I wouldn’t put it past them. But again, we’ve been travelling non-stop. We wouldn’t have had the opportunity to play a sitting duck.”

“That’s better than nothing. You think your family are capable of doing this sort of thing?” Remus asks. He doesn’t sound painfully condescending or sympathetic, just matter-of-fact, and Sirius is glad for it.

“They’d definitely be capable of it.”

“Could you give me some information on them?” Remus says. “You don’t have to, but just knowing their planet and status might help me identify some of the elements in this. Even if they turn out not to be the culprits. Anything’s worth a shot, right?”

“Sure. I’ll tell you tomorrow, okay? I’m going to get to sleep now.”

Remus nods. “Of course. I can get out, if you want some privacy.”

“Don’t worry. I’m used to sleeping with other people in the room,” Sirius says. “You don’t have to move.”

“I’ll try to keep it down, then,” Remus says. “Sleep well.”

“Thanks. You too.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Remus thinks the erosion on our planks might be sabotage,” Sirius says the next morning. He and Lily are the only ones up, so far, and she’s busy fixing two mugs of tea. “From my family.”

That makes her pause. She looks over at him. “Really?”

Sirius nods. “Yeah. He said, last night. He might not be right, but it’s something to consider, I guess. I just don’t know how they would have set it. If it was a sabotage.”

Lily frowns. She puts the mugs in front of them. “I don’t know either. It must have been a while back; we’ve hardly left the ship since we dropped James off. Did Remus figure out what components were in it yet?”

Sirius shakes his head. “Not yet. He said he thinks it’s been developed, like it’s not a naturally occurring substance. If I give him some information on my family, it might help him figure out some more of the elements.”

“And are you okay with that?”

“It’ll either help rule them out, or help him figure it out,” Sirius says. “So yeah, I’m not opposed to it. If it helps.”

Lily swallows a mouthful from her mug. “I mean, are you okay telling him that right now? It took you ages to open up to me.”

“I guess I’ll have to be. I’ve already told him some stuff.”

“Already?”

Sirius shrugs, “he told me some stuff too. It was a fair exchange.”

“Well, I’m proud of you,” Lily says, “that’s a huge step.”

“Hardly.”

“It is!”

He scoffs. “Whatever you say, Lils. I was thinking about going back out into the markets today, to see if there was anything else cool out there.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m not missing anything, but it’ll be fun. There’s not much else to do on a market planet, I guess. James suggested we do some sightspotting after our Y-4X job. He wanted to show Remus the Spires of Lundr.”

“On Termini?” Lily clarifies. Then she shrugs. “We could. I don’t see why not.”

“Maybe we can book one of those system tours.”

“Oh, they’re all shit,” she says. “No. We can look up a route, but we’ll develop our own to see the best things. We got a new telecard from Dorcas and Marlene, by the way. Another photo of a cityscape. They said that Zebu’s new power policy was having some cool effects.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Apparently, the lack of light and factory pollution is revealing several new stars that you can see from the planets,” Lily says. “Maybe the solar tours will be good after all.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Sirius says. “Solar tours in Zebu. It’s laughable.”

“It’s not that unbelievable,” says Lily.

“It’s quite unbelievable. James thinks so too,” Sirius informs her. “But if they end up good, maybe we go and see one. You can prove us wrong.”

“Maybe we will. We have a gap between Y-4X and the next one, don’t we?”

“We don’t have anything booked after Y-4X,” Sirius says. “Not yet, anyway. Maybe something will come through soon, but until then, we’re free.”

“Great. We’ll have loads of time for sightspotting, then. We should have enough finance available for a trip to the Termini system,” she says.

“We’ll have enough,” Sirius agrees. “Definitely. Unless the accounts get jinxed.”

“Oh, don’t say that. Don’t tempt fate.”

Sirius chuckles. “I doubt our accounts will get compromised. They’re secure as they could be.”

“Security doesn’t mean we’re immune to cybercrime.”

“No, but we are protected against it. We haven’t had an issue since we opened the accounts,” Sirius says. “You don’t need to worry. Besides, insurance on cybercrime is a lot better system-wide than it used to be.”

“Mhm.”

“It is! I think compromised accounts are the least of our worries right now, anyway.”

“I’d rather think about our accounts getting hacked than the sabotage of our ship,” Lily says. She groans. “Who knew eroding ship planks could be this confusing?”

James climbs onto the deck. He comes behind Lily and drapes himself over her shoulders, reaching over to take a sip from her mug. “Are you talking about the ship again?”

“And the possibility of our accounts getting hacked,” Sirius says.

James immediately looks concerned. “Our accounts got hacked?”

“Not yet,” Lily says, “Sirius is just trying to wind me up. Is Remus awake yet?”

“I don’t think so,” James shakes his head.

“He was up pretty late working on his science,” Sirius says.

Lily makes a face. “Well, I don’t want him to lose sleep while he tries to figure this out for us. He’s doing us enough of a favour by not asking for payment.”

“To be fair, we are giving him a bed, and food, and free travel,” Sirius says.

Lily makes a face at him, instead. “So? He could still ask us for payment. He’d be fully justified if he did.”

“That aside,” James says. “What are you planning on doing today? It seems like we’re docked here for the near future, so we might as well explore the planet a bit more.”

“We could planet hop to M-26 and M-28,” Lily suggests.

“I was going to take another look around the market,” Sirius says. “See what else they’ve got hidden away.”

"Probably not much," James says. He presses a kiss onto the top of Lily's head, almost absentmindedly. "Once you get out of the main marketplace, it'll mostly just be suburbs and the sketchier stalls. If you do go, you shouldn't go alone."

“Oh, come on. Its M-27, how dangerous can it be?" Sirius tries to say. James looks like he's having none of it.

"He's right," Lily says. Sirius can feel a tiny piece of his soul shrivel up and die; whenever Lily starts agreeing with James, it means he's never going to get his way. "We haven't been here in ages, and Sirius, you do kind of provoke people."

"I do not!"

"You do," she says. It sounds more like she's breaking the news of a death in the family, rather than insulting his personality. "It'd be better if one of us went with you. Maybe you could take Remus! He knows his way around, surely."

"What makes you think Remus will be able to protect me?" Sirius counters. "He's built like a twig! At least I have some muscle mass."

"And speak of the devil," James says, when Remus climbs up onto the deck. He looks remarkably well put together, given he spent the night tinkering about with his science-y bits, and running his hands through his hair so often that Sirius is surprised he has any left.”Are your ears burning?”

"I take offence to that," Remus informs them all. Then he pours himself a mug of tea and downs it in one.

"Someone's made themself right at home," Lily says, sounding fond.

Remus grimaces. "I'm fixing your ship up from near death. I deserve to ransack your tea."

"Never said you didn't, mate," James says. "In fact, have all the tea you want. We'll get you your own stash, if you need one."

That makes him grin. It’s sleepy, and soft, and makes Sirius feel like he’s a teenager all over again. “I think I can make do. Thanks, though. So what’s this about me having no muscle mass?”

Lily laughs. Sirius tries not to blush. “Sirius thinks you’re a bit twiggy,” she tells Remus.

Remus gives him a look. It suddenly makes it a lot harder not to blush. “Does he?”

“Well,” Sirius says, determined to get himself on some more level ground. “You can hardly blame me. You don’t exactly look very macho.”

“Macho?” Remus says, incredulously. “Really?”

“Compared to me, of course,” Sirius continues.

“Oh, yeah, you’re the pinnacle of masculinity,” James says. “Just don’t tell anyone that you love it up the arse, though, eh?”

Sirius chokes on his own saliva. Lily makes an amused sort of gasp and flicks James’s forearm. Remus just looks rather entertained. 

“I bet I could lift you up with one arm,” Remus says, apparently deciding to ignore James’s teasing. Sirius doesn’t quite have time to be offended before Lily is hurriedly scooping up all of their mugs and beginning to herd them out of the ship.

“You are not testing your testosterone in my ship,” she says, “so you can do it outside, if you have to prove yourselves right so badly.”

“She’s only saying that,” James says, before Lily silences him with a Look.

Sirius, having been on the receiving end of one of those, decides that it’s high time they got out of the ship anyway, and makes sure to pick up his coat on his way out. “Remus, I’m going to look around the markets some more, if you want to come.”

“I should probably stay here and work on my tests,” Remus says, gesturing vaguely back to their bunk room.

Lily shakes her head. “Oh, no. You go out with Sirius, have some fun. Those tests will be waiting here when you get back. Besides, you spent all night working on them.”

“Not all night!” Remus protests.

Lily seems to be dealing out her Looks in abundance today, since Remus suddenly looks relatively chastised, and hurries out of the ship with Sirius. The door slides shut behind them. Sirius puts a hand on his heart and then on the door frame. “May James rest in peace.”

Remus sort of laughs beside him. “He’ll be fine, won’t he?”

“Sure he will,” Sirius says.

Remus looks at him, and then back at the door. When he next speaks, it sounds a lot more doubtful. “Won’t he?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

They take a transport car out to the outskirts of the marketplace. Remus looks like he totally belongs. Sirius can’t help but feel slightly out of place amongst the grime and grit; but it’s mostly just another after effect of having lived his entire life sheltered, with his feet on the ground. He knows well enough by now how to ignore it.

Remus leads him to the first stall they see. It turns out to be one that sells what seems like various energy drinks, all of which look to be somewhat luminescent. It’s not the drinks he seems interested in, though, if the grin he gives the merchant is anything to go by.

“Remus? What are you doing all the way out here?” the merchant says. They have bright pink hair - so bright it almost matches the colour of some of the drinks - and two different coloured eyes. Just like Remus, they seem just on the cusp of being perfectly human.

“Hey, Tonks. I came out with a friend,” Remus says. He gestures to Sirius. “This is Sirius. Sirius, this is Nymphadora Tonks. She and I met at Beauxbatons.”

Sirius offers her a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Tonks says. Her smile looks a lot like the one a shark might have. “I don’t know what you think you’ll find out here. It’s just me and, well. And Moody, really. Everyone else packed up and left.”

“What do you mean, everyone left?” Remus asks.

“They went planet hopping. Or they moved into the main markets. Or they just moved on,” Tonks says. She looks unaffected, like she’s spent a while trying to suppress how she truly feels about it, but her tone betrays her.

Remus has no such forthcoming. He sounds just as upset as he looks. “Really? Even Peter?”

“Even Peter,” Tonks says, nodding grimly. “I know, right? I thought he’d be the one to stay forever too. I guess not. I think he got a better offer from somewhere else. He was the first to leave.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Remus asks.

“We didn’t know how to contact you,” Tonks says, “you’re unreachable at the best of times, you know. And no one wanted to risk setting someone onto your trail.”

“What do you mean, setting someone on his trail?” Sirius asks. It must be something big, if the way Remus has gone decidedly pale is anything to go by. 

Tonks looks at him, then back at Remus. Then she wiggles her eyebrows, jerks her eyes to the left, then to the right, and finishes by furrowing her brow in an obvious question. Remus nods. It all happens so fast, Sirius can barely comprehend it. “You know about his thing, right?”

“You mean the Lun-”

“Don’t say it!” Remus yelps. “Not out here. Please.”

Sirius frowns at him, hoping he’ll receive answers soon. It seems like everything he learns about Remus just inspires more questions. “Sure. I know about it. What about it?”

“I already told you, people don’t exactly like it,” Remus explains. “We have to be extra careful not to alert people about it. You know, in case they put two and two together, or something.”

“Is it not safe out here?” Sirius asks. He feels a shiver run up his spine, but he’s not sure if it’s just by proxy or if something is actually wrong.

Tonks shakes her head. “You’d think so, away from the busier parts of the planet, but no. There’s a lot more security round here, since we’re between the subs and the markets.”

“Then why does so much unsavoury business happen out here?” Sirius asks.

“Why do you think there’s so much security?” Remus says. “They tried to stop all the deals, but couldn’t, so the states just decided that it’d be better if they could keep an eye on it all, if not stop it.”

“Right,” Sirius says, trying to look like he understands at the very least. “So, this whole place is, what, bugged?”

“Close enough,” Tonks says. “It means we all have to be careful. Or at least, we had to. With everyone gone, now, there’s not much more to say. And I take it you’re leaving too?”

Remus looks slightly guilty when he nods. “Yeah. Sirius has a ship. He flies with his friends, James and Lily, and James invited me to travel with them. In return for doing some work on their ship’s exo-skeleton.”

“Nice,” Tonks says. She sounds like she means it. “Well, we’ll miss you. I wish we could keep in touch.”

Sirius fiddles with his wrist band. “You could, you know.”

“It’d be too dangerous,” Remus says.

“No, I mean, we could make you a device. I may not be a chemical engineer, but I did go to school,” Sirius says. “Who do you think does all of the technological repairs around the ship?”

“You? Really?”

“Yes, really. And I said we’d get you a comm device, didn’t I?” Sirius says.

Remus looks slightly confused. “I thought that meant you’d buy one, not make something.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s difficult,” Sirius says, “so we could make Tonks one too. Make sure they’re appropriately encrypted. You could keep in touch. I mean, it probably wouldn’t be perfect, but it’d lower the risk, right? And we do have a couple of weapon systems on our ship, so we can defend ourselves if someone jumps on the locations.”

“You’d do that for me?” Remus asks.

“Of course,” Sirius says, like it’s obvious. “Duh. We might be whisking you away from your planet, but that doesn’t mean you have to lose contact with all your friends.”

“Wow,” Remus says. Then he laughs in disbelief. “ _ Wow. _ ”

Tonks looks equally shocked. “You’d really do that?”

Sirius nods.

“Remus, you better not let this lot go,” she tells him. “They’re fucking brilliant. Here, take whatever you want. On the house.”

“What? Tonks, we can’t do that-”

“Oh, shush, Remus,” she says. It reminds Sirius incredibly of Lily. “They’re going to be good for you. Anyone who’s good for you deserves my eternal gratitude. So: take whatever you want.”

“What are they?” Sirius asks. He’s particularly intrigued by the bottle that seems to be glowing a very appealing shade of sea green, and also emitting a low level hum.

“The green one?” Tonks asks, following his eye line. She picks it up. “They’re mostly energy drinks. Or, like, potions, I guess. Very slight magic content. This one’ll make you slightly stronger.”

Remus does a very bad job at hiding his snicker.

Sirius directs a glare his way. “Cool. What about that one?”

He points at a deep purple one. “That one gives you night vision,” Tonks says. “Not that you’ll need it, with all the lights we have about nowadays. That one mostly sells to cavers, or explorers.”

“And that one?” Sirius points at an orange-yellow one. It looks largely reminiscent of orange juice.

“That one’ll help you stay up longer. It’s like a super burst of energy,” Tonks explains. “You’ll only need about a shot’s worth to pull an all nighter.”

“It’s just super concentrated caffeine,” Remus summarises.

“It’s a bit more than that,” Tonks says, sounding offended. “It’s like super concentrated caffeine, without the caffeine crash afterwards.”

“Awesome,” Sirius says. “I’ll take that one.”

“Lily won’t be happy,” Remus points out. Sirius has been friends with her long enough not to let that deter him, so he slides the bottle into his backpack anyway.

“Do you want anything, Remus?” Tonks asks.

He picks out a swirling silvery one. Tonks gives him a sad look of understanding.

“What does that one do?” Sirius asks.

Remus doesn’t meet his eyes. “It gets you drunk,” he says, far too quickly.

Tonks looks disappointed. Sirius isn’t quite sure why. She doesn’t stop him from taking it, though, for which Remus looks grateful.

“We should get going,” Remus says. “There’s lots to see out here.”

There isn’t. It’s a barren stretch of land, with smog rising in the east, and the shadows of housing estates to the west. There’s practically nothing to see - in fact, Tonks is near enough to  _ only _ thing to see. 

“Wait, before you go,” Tonks says. She begins to dig about behind her stall, before emerging with a cube shaped thing with wheels on the bottom in the palm of her hand. “Take this. Charlie left it for you.”

Remus takes it. As soon as he makes contact, a little head shape pops up from the top of the cube, and tiny arms sprout from the side. It’s a robot, Sirius realises, a compact, and frankly adorable, robot. There’s a tiny display on the front of the cube, as well as a small microphone and a speaker. Remus grins.

“I thought I’d never see her again,” Remus says. He holds his palm flat and the robot begins to roll up and down, almost like it’s excited.

“What is it?” Sirius asks.

“It’s a robot,” Remus says. “Charlie - he’s another friend - and I made her together. I built her, he coded the AI inside. Her name’s McGonagall.”

“You have a tiny robot pet?” Sirius says.

A middle finger appears on the tiny display. Sirius presumes it’s for him. Tonks stifles a laugh. “She’s just as sassy as I remember,” Remus says. “Why isn’t she talking, though?”

“The speaker mechanism got banged up,” Tonks says. “Charlie didn’t really say much when he dropped her off; just that I was supposed to give her over to you. He said you might be able to fix her.”

Remus strokes his index finger along the top of the robot’s head. “She’s broken?”

The display reads ‘NOT BROKEN’.

It makes Remus smile. “Okay, not broken. At least you can still communicate. We can hook you up to a monitor once we get back to Sirius’s ship, and you’ll be able to interact much better there.”

She displays ‘SHIP?’

“Yeah,” Remus says. “I’m going to travel. I met a guy, named James, and he invited me to travel with him and his crew. I can’t wait for you to meet them all. Sirius, say hello.”

Sirius feels a little bit stupid saying hello to a tiny robot, but he does it anyway. “Hello, Remus’s robot.”

“He’s one of the people I’ll travel with,” Remus explains. “His ship is wonderful. It’s called ‘Gryffindor’, you know. I think you’ll love it. I should be able to give you an upgrade there.”

The display reads ‘GRYFFINDOR’, this time. Sirius isn’t sure what it means, but Remus seems to, because he smiles and looks a bit like he’s blinking away tears.

“Yes,” he says. “I’ll see you back there, okay? Goodnight, McGonagall.”

‘GOODNIGHT’. Then, the robot’s little head sinks back into the cube body and then it seems to power down. Remus pats the top of the cube before slipping it into his pocket.

“Tell Charlie thanks for me,” he says to Tonks. “I really never thought I’d see her again. This is amazing.”

Tonks smiles too. “I’ll tell him. You be careful out there, Remus. Take care of yourself.”

“Of course. You too,” he instructs her. “Thanks, Tonks. I’ll miss you. I’ll miss you all.”

“We can come back to visit,” Sirius says.

“I’ll still miss you,” Remus says, like he didn’t hear Sirius at all. “Wow. Thank you, Tonks. Thank you.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Do you really think you could lift me with one hand?” Sirius asks later, after they’ve traversed the backends of M-27, and gotten deli sandwiches from a shop somewhere near where they found Tonks. Remus got an abominable combination of spaceweed and mustard, and seems to be enjoying it immensely. Sirius is trying not to be too obvious when he gags.

“Sure, I could,” Remus says. “I know I look like a stick, but I’m pretty strong when it comes down to it.”

“Really?”

Remus looks at him. “Do you want me to prove it?”

Something in Sirius’s stomach lurches. He really, really does want him to. “No,” he says, finally. “I believe you.”

“Okay,” Remus says. He sounds completely unbothered, and goes back to eating his sandwich. Sirius wills the butterflies in his stomach to calm the fuck down, thank you very much.

Several minutes go by before Sirius just has to ask. “But how? I mean, you look like you couldn’t punch your way out of a wet paper bag. Surely it goes against physics.”

Remus chuckles. Then he shrugs. “I don’t know how it works. My best guess is it’s something to do with the morph thing. I’ve never questioned it too much. It’s been quite helpful, really.”

“How has it been helpful?” Sirius asks, “you’re a scientist, surely you need to be delicate. Strength doesn’t exactly equate to daintiness.”

“It’s helpful in other regards,” Remus says, wonderfully evasive. It does wonders to the butterflies in Sirius’s stomach, even though Remus surely doesn’t mean what Sirius thinks he means. He watches Remus’s throat move as he swallows another bite, before deciding that perhaps it’d be better if he didn’t, given that he now has to share a room with him for the foreseeable (and hopefully, the distant) future.

It’s still disappointing. Just about everything about Remus doesn’t quite add up, and Sirius feels like he’s just falling deeper and deeper and deeper.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“What’s that?” asks Lily, when they return to the ship. Remus has been holding the McGonagall robot in his hand since they got back onto the docking stations. Sirius would almost think it’s a nervous tick, or something, if not for the fact that Remus seems as calm as he usually does. Which isn’t exactly saying much, he supposes. 

“It’s a robot,” Sirius says, helpfully. 

“I can see that, thank you, Sirius,” Lily says. “I meant: why do you have a tiny robot?”

“Her name is McGonagall,” Remus explains. “I made her with a friend at school. He took her once we graduated, but we ran into someone I knew while Sirius and I were out and she gave her back to me.”

“Remus seems to know the coolest people. I got the most awesome thing from his friend,” Sirius says, throwing caution to the wind. “She makes energy drinks.”

James frowns at him. “Energy drinks?”

Sirius grins his best ‘not in front of Lily’ grin, because she’d no doubt disapprove. James nods in what seems like understanding. At least, Sirius hopes its in understanding, because as bad as Tonks’ caffeine super-shot might end up being for him, it’ll help in the long run. 

It’ll have to. 

Remus turns McGonagall on and places her on the table. Her wheels roll, and she skids a few inches towards Remus. Her display screen is lit up, showing a smiley face with a pointed hat on top. It’s almost cute. 

“I was going to try and hook her up to a monitor so we can communicate in extended sentences,” Remus says. 

“So she’s like an AI?” James asks. 

Remus nods. “Yeah, sort of. Like, a very bare bones type of AI, but sentient enough to conduct fully formed conversations. She has audio recognition so she understands everything we say, and normally she can reply too.”

“She has speakers?” Lily says. 

“Yeah,” Remus says. “She got damaged at some point, I guess, and they stopped working. But because the display is so small, it’s hard to converse. Which is why I’m going to attach her to a monitor, and then hopefully fix the damage.”

“I thought you were a chemical engineer, not a technological one,” James says. 

Remus quirks his lips up. “I dabbled a bit. Nothing spectacular. Certainly not enough to make a career out of it, or anything.”

“You know how I was talking about getting you your own communication device,” Sirius says. He files away the tidbit about Remus dipping his toe into technological engineering, and debates whether it’d be inappropriate or not to ask if he can commandeer McGonagall to examine her. 

“Yeah?”

“We could fit McGonagall with the technology so she can transmit and receive messages,” Sirius suggests. “Like a glorified walkie-talkie. She’d probably be able to link with anything that had some kind of signal and share data. If you’d like.”

Remus looks delighted. “Really?”

“Sure,” Sirius says. “It shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Thanks, Sirius,” Remus says. He sounds wholeheartedly genuine - so much so, Sirius can hardly stand it. 

He shrugs. “Don’t mention it.”

“Well,” James says, loud enough to put a stop to any and all of the thoughts in Sirius’s head. “Lily suggested we all go out for food tonight. We saw a restaurant that looked pretty nice earlier.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius says. “I’m up for it.”

“Me, too,” says Remus, and just like that, there’s four of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment ur thoughts.
> 
> once again: update schedule is somewhat out the window, and im still desperate to know: would you like to see harry or teddy (or both?) in this fic!?
> 
> take care xxx next chapter will be longer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's testament to how well Remus fits into their puzzle that he doesn’t even question it at all. All he does is scan the floor and say, “Astrophysics for Dummies?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u like!
> 
> this is 24 pages on my google doc and AGH.

Days begin to pass faster. Before long, it’s been a week, a week of sharing a tiny cabin room with Remus, and squeezing past him to get to the kettle, and watching him fit into their dynamic like he was made to be there. Sirius can hardly take it. 

He doesn’t know what it  _ means,  _ and maybe that’s the worst part. He was content to fly about in the ship with his best friends, third wheeling the rest of his life away in the midst of deep space. He liked that. He was happy with that. But where Remus should have thrown a wrench in it all; he didn’t. He fit in completely and entirely. 

James flops onto Sirius’s bunk. He and James are the only two on the ship - Lily had convinced Remus to go with her to investigate some of M-27’s street food. It’s the first evening since Remus first boarded the ship that he’s left his post in front of his experiments, and the room is remarkably quiet without him. “So,” James says, with some suspicious sort of intonation that Sirius tries to ignore.

“What?”

“Sooo…”

He glares at James. “What?”

James’s face breaks into a conspiratorial grin. “Nothing. Just… you and Remus.”

Sirius keeps on glaring at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you’re obviously in love with him,” James says, sitting up enough so he can meet Sirius’s eyes. “And don’t even try to deny it, because I know you, and I know what you look like when you’re pining.”

“I’m not pining for anyone.”

James’s grin turns into a disbelieving smirk. “Yeah, sure. So when are you going to tell him?”

Sirius scoffs, “there’s nothing to tell anyone. You’re delusional. Clearly, you’ve been exposed to too much deoxygenated air.”

He flaps his hand about a bit. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You fixed his little robot up, you told him about your family, you took him out to the suburbs, and every time you look at him, you can practically feel the sexual tension.”

“Taking a man out to the suburbs of M-27 is hardly a date,” Sirius says. “And I fixed his robot because I was going to make him a comm device anyway, and she was already there. I told him about my family because it might help him find out what’s going on with our planks, and I don’t know what you think you’re feeling when we look at each other, but it is not sexual tension.”

“It took you a month to build me and Lily our comm devices,” James points out. “You finished Remus’s in two days.”

“His frame already existed. His entire base was already built.”

“You wouldn’t have told him about your family if you didn’t trust him, and you don’t trust people one day after meeting them,” James says, “unless, you know. You have feelings for them.”

“I don’t have feelings for Remus!”

“Sirius.”

“James!”

“Deny it all you like,” James says, matter-of-factly. “But when you two finally get together, I’m reserving the right to say ‘I told you so.’”

“We’re not going to get together,” Sirius says. It sounds embarrassingly like he’s sulking. “And you’re a bastard.”

James just grins. “I know. And you’re lovesick.”

Sirius debates throwing a book at him. He has nothing much to lose, so a dog-eared copy of ‘Astrophysics for Dummies’ finds its way into James’s nose. It doesn’t even feel as satisfying as he hoped it would.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Why has James got a black eye?” Remus asks when he and Lily get back. It’s a lot later, late enough that Sirius had almost been considering going to sleep just for something to do. But then Remus and Lily had come home, and Lily had disappeared into the other cabin room with the sort of giggle that lends itself to another sleepless night, and Remus had immediately sat himself back in front of his experiments. Sirius had resigned himself to not getting much sleep after all.

“I threw a book at him,” Sirius says.

It's testament to how well Remus fits into their puzzle that he doesn’t even question it at all. All he does is scan the floor and say, “Astrophysics for Dummies?”

“Yep.”

“Sounds rough,” Remus says. He pulls out a notebook and scribbles something down.

“Hanging out with James is,” Sirius says, “he deserves whatever he gets. He was being particularly annoying today.”

Remus chuckles. The light is just low enough that Sirius can still see how his chest rises and falls with the movement. “Understandable. How was your evening?”

Sirius shrugs, “it was okay. I dunno. Not like there’s much we can do. You?”

“Lily showed me how to eat tapas,” Remus says. “I didn’t even realise they’d have Earth-inspired cuisine so far out here.”

“They have Earth-inspired cuisine everywhere,” Sirius says. “How was it?”

“Good. It was nice. I’ve never had classic Earth recipes before,” Remus says. He shrugs, almost imperceptible.

“Really?”

He shakes his head. “I was kinda preoccupied by not being arrested when I was a kid, and my mum never cooked. Then I went off to Beauxbatons, and if they didn’t serve meals in the caffs, I’d eat pasta and weeds and tap water. So, no. None of the classics.”

“That sounds awful,” Sirius says. “I mean, the Earth stuff isn’t that great, but it’s better than some of the dishes out here.”

“Like what?”

“Like the one time we ordered squid, but it was an octopus still wriggling around a chopping board,” Sirius says. “But don’t let that discourage you. Much. We’ll have to see if James will give cooking another shot, he knows loads of Sapien recipes.”

“What about you?” Remus asks. “Do you know how to cook?”

“I can cook microwave noodles and baked beans,” Sirius says. “Call it a local delicacy.”

Remus starts properly laughing. “I was cooking baked beans when I turned seven. Have you never learnt to cook?”

“Can  _ you  _ cook?”

“I’ve already told you; I spent the majority of my life hiding and running, and then I was a student,” Remus says, defensively. “You eat what you can get, and that’s usually just microwave meals or scavenging for scraps. You look like you came from a well-off family, surely you learnt at some point.”

“Did you not research my family?” Sirius asks, kind of surprised. And then surprised that he’s surprised. “I thought you would have.”

Remus shakes his head. “I only needed to know where they came from. Where they live now. I didn’t need to go trawling through your records. Anything you wanted me to know, you would have told me.”

Sirius can’t think of what to say to that. Remus keeps talking. 

“I’m not going to invade your privacy,” he says. “Besides, knowing your financial status wouldn’t have helped me to identify some of the ingredients in the substance.”

“Wouldn’t it? What if they brought it? Surely some materials sell for more than others, so knowing the bank statements would have given you access to any ingredients that were brought, and how much,” Sirius says.

Remus turns around to look at him. “Do you think your family, if they were the culprits, would have brought their chemicals?”

Sirius’s silence must be incredibly telling.

“Right,” Remus continues. “And even if they had brought the stuff, it’s unlikely that the ingredients they brought would have been found outside of their planet system, anyway. Most across-system deals are illegal now, especially if the items for sale are for weapons. If they had brought the ingredients, then we’d have an even bigger problem on our hands.”

“What could be bigger than sabotage from my own family?” Sirius asks.

Remus turns around again, this time looking decidedly more grim. “Inter-universe chemical war.”

“Seriously?!”

“If worst comes to worst,” he says. “I’m no expert on politics, but as far as I can tell, one of the main ingredients in whatever’s attacking your ship is Netharium. Last time I checked, that was outlawed in pretty much every galaxy.”

“Holy shit,” Sirius says.

Remus nods, gravely. “Yeah. So, it’s either targeted chemical warfare, in an attempt to sabotage you. Or it’s system-wide, and part of a bigger scheme. And I really don’t want to think about either of those.”

Sirius sighs. Bowie’s poster on the wall looks at him sternly. “What are we going to do?”

“Replace the affected planks,” Remus says. “I’ll keep testing this to make sure there’s nothing I’ve missed. Hopefully it won’t reproduce itself, so once the planks are changed, we should be safe.”

“It could reproduce?!”

“Hopefully not,” Remus repeats. He taps a staccato rhythm out on his knee. “It’s probably worth installing some kind of surveillance, in case someone attempts to sabotage the ship again.”

“So it’s definitely a sabotage, then,” Sirius says. He’s been mostly trying to ignore it, because there’s a difference between acknowledging that your family might have actively tried to sabotage your ship and let you suffocate in deep space, to actually knowing that your family really might have done that. And he’s been trying not to think about either of them.

“It’s definitely man-made,” Remus says. He sounds slightly apologetic. “Netharium isn’t an element that’ll occur naturally, in atmospheres. It has to be… collected, for want of a better word. It’s expensive, and dangerous, and pretty rare. So unless someone is trying to provoke conflict, you know, introduce some chemical terrorism, then…”

“If someone wanted to do chemical terrorism, then we’d be hearing about it,” Sirius says, so Remus doesn’t have to. “Because our ship wouldn’t be the only one affected, right?”

“Right,” Remus says. “So we draw the conclusion: sabotage.”

Sirius lets his head fall back and thump against the wall. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Remus says. It’s only now that Sirius realises how overwhelmingly tired he sounds. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault my family decided to be massive twats,” Sirius says.

Remus breathes heavily out through his nose. “On the brightside, it might  _ not  _ be your family. Maybe it’s just some regular old psychopath.”

“It’s a nice thought,” Sirius says. “But inter-galaxy chemical terrorism? It has the Black’s written all over it.”

“That sucks,” Remus says.

“Yeah,” Sirius agrees, supremely grateful for Remus’s apparent refusal to beat around the bush. “Yeah, it does.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Netharium?” Lily asks. “Are you sure?”

Remus looks beautiful in the early morning stars, Sirius thinks. He stands by the big window in the living space, staring out into the darkness like it’s looking straight back at him. “I’m sure.”

“But that’s illegal,” Lily tries. She sounds desperate. “It’s  _ illegal.” _

Sirius can’t help but say, “it wouldn’t be the first time my family has done something illegal.”

James puts an arm around his shoulders. “We don’t know that it’s your family yet.”

“You think it isn’t?” Sirius asks him. “Chemical sabotage, illegal substances. I’d be more surprised if it wasn’t them.”

“I’m trying to be optimistic,” James says. “Remus, should we report this?”

Remus scratches at his cheek. “I… I don’t know. On the one hand, yeah. We should. I mean, it’s a deadly chemical and we don’t know who, for certain, put it here, or if it’ll be affecting anyone else.”

“On the other hand?” Lily asks, like she’s afraid of the answer.

“On the other hand, I don’t know if we’ll be believed,” Remus says. “No offence to you, but this is an independent ship. You have no set employment, and you pick up jobs in the lower systems. Most law enforcement organisations we go to might think we’re trying to set somebody else up, or they’ll just arrest us in place of any definitive evidence.”

“Well, shit,” James says.

“We could talk to Frank,” Lily suggests. “He’s a system-wide lawyer, isn’t he? Maybe he’ll help us.”

Sirius shakes his head. “Frank’s busy. He’s already got a load of cases to focus on, and I don’t think he’d take on this one without payment. And we can’t afford that without our next job.”

“So, what, you’re saying we just have to wait it out?” Lily says. “What if we don’t have that long?”

“They won’t kill us,” Sirius says. “At least, not personally. My family wouldn’t want blood on their hands.”

“If it is your family,” James reminds them.

Sirius grimaces. “You don’t have to protect them,” he says. “My family are the only lead we have here, and they’re definitely capable of all of it. I think it’s safe to assume that they are guilty of this.”

“But without concrete evidence, we can’t accuse them of anything,” Remus says. He turns away from the window, chewing his lip. “Sirius is right. From what you’ve said, your family definitely has the means to do something like this. And you know them better than I do; if you think they’re likely guilty, then let’s just continue on like they are.”

“You know a lot about the law,” Lily remarks. She taps her fingernail across the rim of her mug, almost absentmindedly.

Remus nods, “yeah. I read a lot as a kid. Eventually worked my way through the child's section at the library. Moved onto the rest of it.”

“How do you remember all of it?” James asks.

“Dunno. It’s come in handy, sometimes,” Remus says. “Anyway, we should get to work on replacing your planks. I’ll keep an eye on the substance, and I’ll keep looking into any reports that might be relevant. Something might come up.”

“We should try and be done as soon as possible,” James says. “If someone is targeting us specifically, then once they realise that their attack didn’t have its desired effect, then maybe they’ll try again. It’ll be better to keep moving.”

“Remus suggested getting some security measures,” Sirius says. “I can go out today and get some cameras and stuff. Give me an hour or two and I’ll have them modified enough to fit our purposes a lot better.”

“Sounds good,” Lily says. Her voice takes on an almost indiscernible quality, just enough of a shift between worried friend to determined captain to be noticeable. It automatically makes Sirius sit up straighter. “You get to work on that. Remus, keep working on your experiments. James and I will start working on replacing the exos.”

“Good,” Remus says. “Well. Stay vigilant, if you’re going into the market. If you’d have kept flying, the ship would be fully eroded by now. You’d all be dead. If the intention was to kill, or harm you all, then whoever did this will probably have realised that it hasn’t worked.”

“You think they’re watching us?” James asks.

“I don’t think they’re not,” Remus answers. “I mean, if I was going to sabotage someone, I’d keep watch on them to make sure it worked. Wouldn’t you?”

Lily nods. “I would.”

“My family would too,” Sirius says.

“There we go, then. We’re likely being watched. Just in case. So, be careful. Even if it isn’t Sirius’s family, then we don’t know that they won’t try to attack in plain sight anyway,” Remus says. “You know, when you asked me to fly with you, I never expected that this would be the sort of thing I’d be trying to do.”

“You and me both,” James says. Sirius can’t help but notice just how tired they all sound. He can’t help feeling guilty for it, either. 

Lily pours herself another mug of tea. “Well, then. The threat of chemical terrorism hanging over our heads. Just another day.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You okay?” Lily asks, that evening. She looks at him sympathetically, and starts to climb into the smaller bay that holds the lifeship. It’s the most separate part of the entire ship, and makes the perfect hiding place for when Sirius wants to get away. As far as he knows, Lily is the only one who knows he hides out here.

He scoots over so she can squeeze in next to him. There’s not much space - the bay is only designed to hold the lifeship, which is only designed to hold a maximum of four people, and not much else at all. “Yeah.”

“Really?”

He doesn’t want to look directly at her. He has enough experience to know that whatever look is currently in Lily’s eyes will draw everything he doesn’t want to say out of him.

“No,” he ends up saying anyway. “I just… I mean, I hate them. I hate them all. They’re bastards. They’re awful.”

“They are,” Lily agrees. She fidgets so that her head ends up on his shoulder. 

“But I still don’t want it to be them,” Sirius continues. “A part of me just wants them to love me, anyway. I just don’t know what I did to make them hate me so much, you know? I don’t… I don’t know why they’re doing this.”

A sob bubbles up in his throat, and he tries desperately not to let it burst. It doesn’t seem to work as well as he had hoped, if the way Lily squeezes her arm around him is anything to go by.

“I don’t know either,” Lily tells him. “But I think it’s perfectly normal to feel bad for saying they’re guilty. Whether they’ve acted like it or not, they’re still your family. They’re still supposed to love you.”

“But they don’t,” Sirius says.

“But they don’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t want it. And it can’t be easy, having this happen, and thinking it’s your fault.”

“I don’t think it’s my fault.”

“Then why are you hiding?”

Another sob wracks Sirius’s body. Tears squeeze their way out of his eyes, burning sharp and hot. “I just don’t know why it had to be me,” he chokes out. “I don’t know why they hate me. Why did it have to be me?!”

“I wish it wasn’t like this,” Lily whispers. “I wish it wasn’t you. I know you hate hearing it, but I’m so sorry, Sirius. You don’t deserve any of this. But please, believe me when I say this. None of it is your fault.”

He tries to answer, but can’t. His throat is thick with mucus and snot and unshed tears, and Lily’s words just make his chest ache even more. Another shudder runs its way through Sirius’s body, and Lily tightens her grip on him, like the stronger she holds him, the less chance there is of everything falling apart. Like she can make everything better with just her words.

“We love you,” she tells him, so deadly serious. She sounds close to tears, too. “You are not your family. And this isn’t your fault. Okay?”

“I don’t want them to hurt you,” Sirius manages to say. “Any of you.”

“They won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

Lily moves her hands so she can cup his cheeks, angling his face towards hers and pressing their foreheads together. “I do. They won’t hurt us. And they won’t hurt you. You think we’d let them get away with that? You think Remus would?”

“We’ve known Remus for a week,” Sirius says. “If he wanted to jump ship now, he could.”

She shakes her head. Her breath blows across his face, mingling with his own. “He won’t. I think he’s been looking for an escape just as desperately as we were.”

“And now he’s going to die because of me,” Sirius cries, and the tears bubble over with a vengeance. “I’ve ruined all of your lives. You should just leave me here, and then you’ll be safe.”

He’s close enough that he can see when a tear finally drips down Lily’s cheek - just a mirror of his own. “We are never going to leave you,” she says fiercely, and her voice burns so hot it almost hurts. “Never.  _ Never.” _

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sirius is woken up by James opening the door to the lifeship bay. He asks, “did you two sleep in here?” with thinly-veiled amusement, and Sirius looks down to see Lily with her head in his lap.

His eyes are still sticky with last night’s tears, and his lungs ache, but Sirius looks at James and smiles. “Yeah. I guess we did.”

“Did you at least sleep well?” James says. He hands Sirius a mug of hot tea, and he takes it gratefully, letting the steam wash over his face.

“It was okay,” he replies. “As comfortable as the lifeship bay can be, I guess. You?”

The circles under James’s eyes are extremely contradictory, but Sirius doesn’t mention it when James says, “like a baby. You know, having Lily out of the room makes it much easier to sleep without her snoring. Maybe I’ll have to kick her out to sleep on the couch more often.”

“I can hear you,” she says into Sirius’s knee.

“And good morning to you too, Sleeping Beauty,” James teases. Lily sits up slowly. Sirius is incredibly jealous of her inhuman ability to look wonderful and perfect, even after spending half the night in tears. 

Lily’s glares are still remarkably effective, even when she’s half asleep. “Funny. Is Remus alright?”

“I heard him bashing about a bit in your room last night, Sirius,” James says. “No idea what he was doing, though. I haven’t been in to check on him yet, but I assume he’s still asleep. Are you two getting out of there, or what?”

“Get your big head out of the way, then, and then we’ll actually have some space to move around,” Sirius says. James obediently moves to the side, and Sirius climbs out of the bay, closely followed by Lily. She looks even more disheveled when she stands up, and Sirius can only hope he doesn’t look like that either.

“Remind me never to sleep in the lifeship bay again,” she says, stretching. Sirius hears several bones in her back click and pop back into place. “Christ, that was awful. As much as I love you, Sirius, there are some things I will absolutely refuse to do for you.”

“How rude,” Sirius says. “I thought this whole experience was wonderful.”

She ruffles his hair. “You’re delusional. I think sleeping in the lifeship bay hits number two for the ‘things I’m never going to do again’ list.”

James chuckles. They begin to head to the living space, which is approximately two and a half steps away from the bay. “What takes first place?”

Lily grins and taps a finger against the side of her nose. “It’s a secret. Anyway, that’s not what matters. What matters is that I’m never sleeping in the lifeship bay again. And I think we should try to come up with some sort of plan.”

“Plan for what?” Sirius asks. He hops up onto the counter space, slouching so not to hit his head on the upper shelving units.

“Well, we can’t very well just hide out here forever,” Lily says. She reaches up to grab a sachet of oats off of the shelf. “We should message Dorcas and Marlene.”

James shakes his head. “There’s not much we can do until we have the ship fixed up. Dorcas and Marls don’t have the space for four extra passengers-”

“I’m not saying we’ll go and stay with them,” Lily interrupts. “At least, not all of us. But if worst comes to worst, surely we should have a backup plan.”

“I don’t want to put our friends in danger,” Sirius says. “If we’re being targeted - if  _ I’m  _ being targeted.”

“There are too many ifs,” James says, “too many unknowns. We should get in contact with Regulus. He likes you, right? He might help us.”

Sirius shrugs, “maybe. He’s loyal to the family. I don’t know if he would help me.”

“It’s worth a shot,” comes Remus’s voice. “James is right. There are too many things we don’t know yet: who it is, what they want, all of it. Anything that might help us is worth looking into.”

Sirius grimaces and looks over at him. He’s still wearing the clothes he must have worn to sleep, looking bedraggled and barely half awake. It’s incredibly endearing. He looks back to James and sighs. “Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t ask this of you if I wasn’t sure it might help us,” James says, “you know that.”

“Regulus probably hates me,” Sirius says. “He won’t help us.”

Lily pats his knee. “He’s never hated you. He’s jealous, he adores you. It’s worth a try.”

He sighs, tucking his legs up and resting the balls of his feet on the edge of the counter. “I told myself I wouldn’t ever contact any of them again when I left. I don’t… I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Then I’ll message him,” James says. “Or Lily can. Or we’ll all do it together. I know it’ll be hard, but we have to do this. Just in case he will help us.”

“I know,” Sirius says, and that’s probably the worst part. That he knows that this is their best shot, that they have to know. He buries his head in his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Remus tells him. He picks up a mug and sets about filling it with tea, and it’s just so delightfully normal that Sirius can hardly tear his eyes away.

“This whole thing wouldn’t have happened without me,” Sirius says.

“You don’t know that,” says James. He twists his fingers together, almost nervously, and Sirius watches as Lily places her own hands atop his. They curl together, and Sirius finds his own palms feeling extraordinarily empty.

“It’s not hard to guess,” he says, some painful bite in his words. Remus puts his mug down and moves to lean against the counter next to him, so close that Sirius can almost feel their hearts beating in tandem.

“It’s probable that your family holds at least some of the responsibility for this,” Remus says. “But you don’t hold that responsibility for them. You owe them nothing, and you shouldn’t take the blame for this. Especially when it’s not your fault.”

“Maybe if I’d just done something-”

Remus cuts him off with a shake of his head. “No. Don’t think like that. You can’t heal a demon with love, Sirius. Don’t dwell on the past.”

Sirius swallows. “What do you suggest? Looking to the future?”

“No,” Remus says. “The present. Where we are now. What we’ll do today. No what might happen tomorrow.”

“That’s easier said than done,” Sirius mutters.

“I know,” Remus says, and now his voice lowers and softens till the emotion in it is stifling. Sirius looks at him, and wonders how Remus manages to wear his heart on his sleeve and yet still keep himself from view.

James and Lily leave. Sirius hears them slink back below deck, and then he and Remus are alone. And it’s heavy, and thick, and hardly anything matters outside of it.

“I’m sorry James invited you to fly with us,” he says. Because he is. Because there’s nothing else to say.

“Why?”

“Because you shouldn’t have to be put in danger again.”

“I’ve been looking for an excuse to run away since I graduated,” Remus says. “Freedom comes at a price. It feels like I’ve been waiting for you for years.”

Sirius scoffs. “Your ambitions are low.”

“They’re still mine,” Remus murmurs. “If running away with you means taking on an intergalactic terrorist and risking my life all over again, then I’ll do it.”

“Someone could take that the wrong way,” Sirius says.

Remus reaches over to tilt Sirius’s chin up, meeting his eyes. “Could they?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Well, then,” James announces, two weeks and several sol cycles after they first docked at M-27. The days had passed without incident, Lily had become more and more like a drill sergeant as Sirius became more and more anxious. Remus had kept to himself in their bunk room, and James had taken to flitting about between serving food and fixing the ship’s exoskeleton. “That’s that finished. Everything is ship shape. We’re ready for take off any day now.”

“Great,” Sirius says. He leans back against the outer door and surveys James’s work. The new planks don’t quite match the old ones in colour, but Remus had synthesised a custom protective spray for them, and Sirius would rather have an oddly coloured ship in place of a fully eroded one. “So does this mean we’ll get going soon?”

James nods. “Probably. Might as well. There’s not much on M-27 left for us, and it’ll take a couple of days to fly over to Y-4X in time.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius says. James trails a finger over one of the planks and moves to push open the door. “So, we should contact Regulus soon, then.”

“Yeah?”

Sirius shrugs. He follows James through the door, and instantly, his gaze picks out Remus. He’s sitting with Lily, and they’re both fiddling about with McGonagall. “I guess so.”

James claps him on the back, before heading over to hook his chin over Lily’s shoulder. “What are you two up to, then?”

“Remus finally found time to fix up McGonagall’s speakers,” Lily explains. “We’ve been catching her up on everything.”

“Haven’t you been talking to her through your monitor, though?” Sirius asks. He moves to sit next to Remus, and watches the robot too. Her display screen is lit up, displaying a happy grin.

“Well, sure,” Remus says. “But it’s not the same.”

“You know, if we could extrapolate her, she’d make a brilliant ship AI,” Lily says. McGonagall makes an affronted series of beeps.

Remus laughs. “She says no. Although, I could appoint the three of you as primary users, too.”

“Primary users?” James asks.

“Yeah. I’m her main user, since I created her, but if I assign you as primary users, then she’ll recognise you as friends and you’ll be able to access most of the same functions that I can,” Remus says. “It’s easy. You’ll just have to say a sentence to her.”

“I’ll bite,” Sirius says. 

Remus grins at him. “Brilliant. Okay. Just repeat after me.”

“Sure.”

Remus lets McGonagall roll up onto his palm and brings her to his eye level. “Good afternoon, McGonagall. I’d like to assign a new user.”

“Yes, Remus,” McGonagall replies, in a distinctly Old Scottish tone.

Sirius hasn’t ever heard her speak before. “Woah.”

“Isn’t it awesome?” Lily gushes. “I didn’t ever think you could assign accents to AIs, these days.”

“Of course you can assign accents,” Remus says. “So, Sirius. Stand here, in front of her cameras so she can categorise your face.”

Sirius moves obediently, so McGonagall’s cameras have a clearer shot of his face.

“Put your index finger on her main body,” Remus instructs, once she’s finished analysing his face.

Sirius frowns. “Why?”

“Bio-metrics,” Remus says. He sounds almost embarrassed. “It’s ultra secure, but so embarrassing. I just don’t want to risk any of the information I have here being infiltrated. She’s just going to scan your fingerprints and maybe take a DNA sample, so she’ll know whether the person instructing her is who they’re meant to be.”

“Sure,” Sirius touches his finger tip to the side of her frame. A loading signal appears on her display screen, and then a sharp pulse travels through Sirius’s finger tip. “Ouch.”

Remus chuckles. “That’d be the DNA sample.”

“I didn’t think it’d hurt so much,” Sirius says, glancing at Remus like he’s the only one who exists in the whole universe. “What now?”

“Um, repeat after me. We set it up so only people who knew the code could assign new users,” Remus says. “You know, just in case. So, ‘Presenting Sirius Black...”

“‘Presenting Sirius Black…’”

“‘Under the authority of Messr Moony…’”

“‘Under the authority of Messr Moony…’”

“‘Requesting status as Primary User One.’”

“‘Requesting status as Primary User One,’” Sirius repeats. Remus says no more, and McGonagall’s screen displays another loading signal, before it changes into a tick mark.

“User request accepted,” she says. “Welcome, Sirius Black.”

It’s kind of intimate. Sirius can’t help but breathe out a smile. 

Remus grins. “You’ll have access to most, if not all, of her data banks. She’ll do what you ask of her, too.”

“She must be really powerful,” Lily says. “I’m impressed. You said you made her while you were at school?”

“Yeah,” Remus nods. “I had help. I’m useless at coding sophisticated AIs. Here, I’ll put you two on her user base too.”

Sirius watches as Remus repeats the same process with James and Lily. By the end of it, Remus is beaming, and his exhilaration is almost tangible. McGonagall is displaying a smiley face, too. “So where did Messr Moony come from, then?” he asks.

Remus flushes. The bridge of his nose turns delightfully golden. “It’s kind of an inside joke, I guess. A nickname.”

“Like ours,” James says. “Padfoot, Prongs.”

“Messrs Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs,” Lily says, sounding wonderfully fond. She smiles. “My boys, hm?”

“Well, you need one,” Remus says. “As the captain of our ship, of course. We can’t leave you out, Lily.”

She scoffs. “Oh, don’t worry about that. Now, did you get all the planks fixed up?”

“Yep,” James nods, “all fixed up. We’re fit as a fiddle and ready to take off whenever you desire, Captain.”

“No time like the present, then,” she says. “If you’re all ready to go, then we can leave tonight.”

“Sounds great,” Remus says. “Where will we go?”

“We’ll head in the direction of Y-4X. It’ll take a few days to reach the system, and we should be there in time for our job there,” Lily says. 

“What are we actually going to be doing there?” James asks.

Sirius shrugs. “They didn’t specify on the telecard. Just said that our abilities were best fitted for it.”

“Right,” Lily frowns, looking decidedly doubtful.

“I’m sure it’s all properly legal,” James says. He loops an arm around Lily’s front so he can tangle their fingers together. “Sirius wouldn’t accept a job that isn’t.”

“Wouldn’t he?” Lily teases.

Sirius glares at her. “I wouldn’t, thank you very much. Are we going to leave tonight, then?”

“Yeah,” Lily says, “there’s no point in staying here for any longer than we need to.”

“Right,” Sirius says. “Then I’m going to go check the engines again. And then I’ll… call Regulus.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The engine room smells like musty, stale water. It’s uncomfortably comforting, and makes Sirius feel a little bit like he’s inside a fish tank. He checks the fuel levels, and the electrics, and perhaps he’s being hyper-vigilant, if only to procrastinate calling Regulus. They’re all in perfect working order, though, and there’s nothing Sirius can do to them. He breathes and the air tastes like warm dust.

He sinks to the ground in the corner, slumping against the side of one of the engine blocks. He pulls up his communicator interface, and hopes that Regulus hasn’t changed his contact code recently. Then he hopes that maybe he’ll have forgotten it, and he won’t have to contact him after all.

Muscle memory betrays him, and Sirius finds himself tapping out the code, like he couldn’t ever forget it. The call goes through almost immediately, and Sirius can’t bring himself to speak.

“Hello?” Regulus. His voice has barely changed since he last heard it. “Hello, who is this?”

“Regulus,” Sirius says. “It’s me.”

“Sirius?”

“Yes.”

Regulus huffs, laughter and incredulity threading through his voice. “I never thought I’d hear from you again. Why are you calling?”

“I need your help,” Sirius says. The warm-almost-hot casing of the engine burns through his shirt.

“The great Sirius Black needs my help?” Regulus scoffs. “Yeah, right. What do you really want?”

Sirius sighs. Then he sighs again, hoping he can expel his discomfort through carbon dioxide. “I really do need your help. Listen, our ship got targeted. We got attacked. I need to know if… if the family have been plotting any attacks.”

“What makes you think our family has done this?”

“They used Netharium.”

Regulus exhales so heavily that Sirius can almost feel it through the speakers. “Netharium. And how does that relate to our family?”

“No one else would dare to use it,” Sirius says. “Regulus, please. I just need to know. If this is about me, and them. Or if it’s more widespread.”

“Why would I help you?” Regulus asks. “You’ve never done anything for me. You left.”

“Regulus…”

“Why would I ever want to do something for you?”

Sirius squeezes his hand into a fist. “Now isn’t the time for petty hatred. This isn’t about me.”

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about the family, and the safety of the galaxy. If they’re targeting me, well, I wouldn’t expect anything less. But if this goes beyond me? Regulus, it’s a threat to the security of the galaxy. And you know what Bellatrix is like.”

Regulus says, “why do you think I would know anything?” And Sirius feels his heart plummet.

“Because they… they love you. They trust you.”

“They’ve hated me since you left us,” Regulus spits. “They don’t trust me with anything. You tore our family apart, Sirius.”

“They did that to themselves, long before I left.”

Regulus doesn’t answer.

“Look,” Sirius says. “I just need to know anything you know about what might be happening. Even if you hate me. Surely, there’s some little part of your shriveled heart left, concerned with the continued existence of the universe. You have to help us.”

He’s silent for a long while. Long enough that Sirius almost thinks he’s hung up. “It’s about you,” he says eventually. “It’s always been about you. They would pull the sky down for you, Sirius. They will.”

“What does that mean?” 

“That’s all I know. Look, I told you they don’t trust me,” Regulus says. “If they find out that you even called me, I don’t know what they’d do. I can’t help you.”

“Wait.”

Regulus swallows. “What?”

“I…” Sirius sniffs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s about ten years too late,” Regulus says, so painfully sharp, and then he hangs up. The musty warmth of the engines turns cold and harsh, and Sirius lets his head fall back against the wall.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“He won’t help us.”

James glances up. He has a book in his lap, one that Sirius hasn’t seen since he was in college, and his glasses balance on the end of his nose. “Who won’t?”

“Regulus. I called him,” Sirius says. “He told me nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“He just said it was my fault. And that the family would tear the sky down for me, whatever that means.”

James makes a face. “Probably means nothing good. Well, at least you called him. Anything is better than nothing.”

Sirius scoffs. “He barely said anything helpful.”

“But he did say something,” James says. He puts the book down and pushes his glasses back up his nose. “That’s better than nothing.”

“It would help if I knew what he meant,” Sirius mutters. 

“Maybe he’s speaking in code,” James suggests.

“Except I don’t know what goddamn code he’s speaking in.”

“Who’s speaking in code?” Lily asks, poking her head into the room. She’s spent the afternoon holed up in the control room. “And stop yelling, please. I can hear you from in here, and it’s giving me a headache.”

“Sirius called Regulus,” Jamess says.

Remus appears like his name has been called, and all at once, the room feels remarkably small. “What did he say?”

“He said nothing of importance,” Sirius says. “He said it was my fault, and that the family would pull down the sky for me. Which means absolutely nothing, and the whole call was completely useless. I can’t believe I let you talk me into it.”

“And James thinks its code for something?” Lily asks.

“Maybe he’s saying that this goes beyond you,” Remus suggests. “‘Pull the sky down’. That could imply the galaxy. They’ll destroy the galaxy.”

“We can’t be sure of that,” James says.

“No,” Remus agrees. He scratches his eyebrow. “But I don’t see what else it could be. I reckon he’s asking us to read between the lines. They’re going to attack the galaxy, to retaliate for you leaving.”

“Great,” Sirius says. “That still doesn’t help us at all.”

Remus hums. “It’s not completely useless. At least now we know what they plan to do. And why.”

“Hardly.”

“It’s better than what we knew before,” Lily says, almost placatingly.

“Yeah, except now I just have more questions than I did before,” Sirius says. “What the fuck did he think he was playing at?”

“Well, did he say anything else?” James asks.

“You can read the transcripts if you want.”

Lily and James seem to have a conversation consisting of only eyebrows, before James pulls up the call transcript and scans through it. “He said your family hate him. They don’t trust him,” James reads out. “Well, then.”

“That explains it,” Remus says. 

“What does it explain?” Lily asks. She’s reading over James’s shoulder, but Sirius can hardly bring himself to feel embarrassed.

“It explains why he was so vague, obviously,” Remus says. “If your family hate him, or don’t trust him, he won’t go off and spill all of the secrets to his estranged brother, would he? He was telling us as much as he could get away with.”

“But he didn’t tell us anything,” Sirius insists.

“But he tried,” Remus says. “And like James said, it’s more than we had before.”

Lily sighs. “It’s just a shame we can’t do anything more with it. I’d suggest reporting it, but it’s so vague, and such a stretch, that no one would believe us. We’d be like the boy who cried wolf.”

“The who?” Remus asks.

“The boy who cried wolf,” James says. “It’s just an old Sapient tale. I bet other cultures probably have something like it. But Lily’s right. We can’t report this yet. There’s not enough to go on.”

“So, it was useless calling him,” Sirius says.

Remus shakes his head. He moves over, so he can stand closer to Sirius. “It wasn’t useless. It was worth it. It just means we’ll have to work a bit more to get some more information.”

Sirius buries his head in his hands, trying desperately not to cry. The call with Regulus had dredged up the kind of feelings he hasn’t felt in years, and with the accusations Regulus had thrown around, he feels just about ready to curl up in bed and not wake up for a hundred years. Despite his best efforts, tears well up in his eyes, stinging something awful.

“I wish there was more we could do,” he says. No one says anything more, but Sirius can feel their eyes on him, and the air just keeps on moving.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Remus finds him that night. He’s sitting in the life ship bay again, and Lily and James are suitably distracted in the control room, and they’re an hour and a half into the flight path. Sirius stares out across the stars, and the clouds, and the late night travellers, and he wonders if Remus has a tracker implanted in him.

“Will you ever make up with him?” he asks.

Sirius shuffles over so Remus can sit with him too, and then they’re both staring at the stars, and Sirius feels at some kind of peace. “With who?”

“With your brother.”

“You read the transcripts,” he says, almost an accusation, but mostly a statement. Just fact.

Remus doesn’t sound apologetic, and Sirius is somewhat grateful for it. “Yeah. I did.”

“Why would I make up with him?” Sirius says. He words it like a question, although Remus would never know the answer. Sirius hardly knows the answer himself. 

“Because he’s your brother.”

“He hates me.”

Remus shrugs. “He’s still your brother.”

Sirius shakes his head. “He still hates me.”

Remus says, “that’s family.” And something rings true. “He’s your little brother. You could save him.”

“Would you ever tell Lily and James?”

“What about?”

“The morph thing,” Sirius says. “They should know.”

Remus nods. “They should. You’re right.”

“So why don’t you?”

Remus is quiet for a long while. “Because I’m afraid.”

Sirius sighs. “Me too.”

“Will you ever stop being afraid?” Remus murmurs. The words hardly pass his lips. “Do you think?”

“Will you?” Sirius asks. He hardly wants to think about it.

“Probably not,” Remus answers. “But I don’t think I’ll let it stop me. I’ll tell Lily and James about it soon. Will you make up with Regulus?”

“Maybe,” Sirius says. Remus doesn’t say anything more. All he does is lean over so he can rest his head on Sirius’s shoulder, which must be so extremely uncomfortable for him, given that Sirius falls near enough a foot shorter than Remus. Despite that, it’s nice. It’s nice, sitting here, together, watching all the lives being lived out around them. For a few minutes, Sirius can almost forget about his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, let me know ur thoughts. id love to hear them!!
> 
> its only 3 chapters in and im getting slightly concerned about my pacing (idk why?). i dont want to drag everything on for too long, but i also want to make it, like, a good length. idk. anyway. it would be helpful to hear opinions on chapter length, overall length, etc etc.
> 
> next chapter will come soon enough. take care, everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can’t stop thinking about Regulus, about what he meant, and what Remus said. Sirius hates to live in the past, but thinking about Regulus is more than that. It’s less about the past, and more about what they used to be. What Regulus is now, and what Sirius hasn’t been for years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one may call this an excuse to write them all being a happy family. also the planet of requirement. enjoy!!!

For all the hours they’ve spent together in the ship for the past few weeks, it’s different to actually flying together. There’s an undercurrent of tension thrumming through the ship, and Sirius can’t tell where it’s coming from. He spends his days fiddling about with the engines, or taking pieces of the ship apart and putting them back together again.

Lily and James stay in the control room, or in their bunk room. Remus holes up with his science and his experiments, and Sirius does his best not to interrupt.

Still, it feels like they’re making progress now. Like things are happening. And that knowledge, if nothing else, does wonders to slow his franticness. 

He can’t stop thinking about Regulus, about what he meant, and what Remus said. Sirius hates to live in the past, but thinking about Regulus is more than that. It’s less about the past, and more about what they used to be. What Regulus is now, and what Sirius hasn’t been for years.

His guilt is overwhelming.

They’re two and a half days into the flight when they all appear in the living space together. Lily looks exhausted and beautiful, crumpled from spending hours in the control room. She still smiles at Sirius, and Remus, leaning back into James’s arms.

“Well, hello, strangers,” she says, grinning.

“For such a small ship, you’d think we’d see a bit more of each other,” James says. “Maybe we ought to condense some more.”

Sirius makes a face. “Maybe not. How goes the flight path?”

“As well as it ever goes in such a commercial system,” Lily says. “I can’t wait until we’re out of here.”

“But it hardly took us any time to get here,” Sirius says. “How come we haven’t even left Manus yet?”

“We chose the wrong time to leave,” James says, sounding awfully tired. “There’s some sort of celebration going on, and it’s always harder to leave a system than it is to enter it, anyway.”

“So when do you think we’ll be out?” Remus asks. He doesn’t move from the doorway, and Sirius wonders why. It makes him seem like an outsider.

Lily shrugs. “I couldn’t say. Hopefully before the day is over.”

“Mm,” Remus rubs his chin. “Then I guess I might as well tell you now.”

“Tell us what?” James asks.

“I’m a, uh, metamorph. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you till now,” Remus says. His voice wavers.

“You think your species status would have changed anything?” James asks. “We don’t care what you are, you know.”

“I know,” Remus says, “but, um. I’m not a standard morph. And I think you should know.”

“Then what sort of morph are you?” Lily asks. She doesn’t sound at all worried, but neither her tone nor James’s indifference seem to quell Remus’s fears.

“A Luna morph,” Remus says, with a heavy sigh. “A dangerous one.”

“Mate, I don’t think you could hurt a fly,” James says, “but, by all means. You’re a dangerous morph, and we’ll still let you fly with us.”

“He could show you,” Sirius says.

Lily looks to him. “You’ve seen it?”

“When we went to get his stuff,” Sirius nods. “Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It wasn’t yours to tell,” James says. He waves a hand, as if his movements can dispel the very words. “Well, you can show us if you like, Remus. But it really won’t change anything here.”

Remus swallows deeply. “I just want you to know that I’m… I could hurt you.”

“You haven’t hurt us yet,” Lily says. “And James is right. I don’t think you could hurt a fly either.”

“Say that again after you’ve seen it,” Remus says, and then he’s breathing hard, and his teeth are sharpening and his eyes are growing brighter, and Lily gasps.

“I’ve never met anyone with that amount of control over their morph before,” James says. He sounds as amazed as Lily looks. “Especially Luna morphs. Usually, morphs only have power over certain aspects of their appearance, or it depends on a whole load of outside factors, right? Remus, that’s amazing.”

He morphs back, his eyes still glowing gold. Sirius cannot stop looking, and he thinks that there’s too much of Remus, and he’s looking for too long. “It depends on who you ask.”

“If you ask me, I think you’re incredible,” Lily says. “Were you afraid to tell us this?”

Remus scoffs. “Of course I was afraid. No one trusts morphs, let alone the dangerous ones. It’s why I kept it from you for so long. Even after you’d shown me such kindness.”

“You showed Sirius,” James says.

That seems to throw Remus for a second. “Yeah, I… I did.”

“Well, I, for one, feel a lot better having a Luna morph on our side than against us,” Sirius speaks up. “And, for the record, I think you’re amazing too.”

Lily smiles. “You didn’t need to be afraid. I’m sorry if we made you think that we wouldn’t accept you like this.”

“Yeah,” James says. “You’re still you. Still stupidly smart, and brilliant, but now you have pointy teeth too. They’re all plusses in my book.”

“Careful, I’ll get jealous,” Lily says. James laughs, tucking his face into the crook of her neck, and Sirius watches Remus’s lips quirk up. “I should get back to the wheel. It wouldn’t do to have our ship crash into a planet just as we start to get away.”

“It would make a great distraction,” James murmurs. Sirius wishes he didn’t know him as well as he does.

“Distraction from what?” Lily asks. “From chemical terrorism?”

The ship wobbles slightly. “From Sirius moping about,” James says.

“Hey!”

Remus chuckles. He moves from the doorway over to the window, almost absentmindedly. “I think if anyone has a right to mope, it’s Sirius…”

Sirius looks over to him. He stares out the window, like he can’t comprehend what he’s seeing. “Have you never seen deep space before?” he asks, smile already forming on his face.

“No, I… You have guns on this ship, right?”

Sirius frowns. “Yeah. Why?”

Lily clicks her tongue. “We haven’t used the weapons in a while. We stay out of space conflict. Remus?”

The first shot rocks the ship enough that it almost tips Sirius over. “Oh, Jesus. I don’t even know if the guns work any more!”

“This isn’t a great time to find out!” Remus shouts, as a fleet of cannons attack the ship. He takes a long stride over and stands in front of Sirius, almost like he’s guarding him. “Do we attack or run?”

“I’ll get us in flight,” Lily decides. “You and James go to the cannons. Sirius, stay with me.”

“No, I can help them,” Sirius says.

“Stay with me,” Lily insists. “I’ll need your help.”

“James is a better flier-”

“Sirius.”

Sirius nods. “Okay.”

“Be careful,” she instructs. “No unnecessary shots. We don’t want to fight.”

James pulls her close and kisses her desperately. Sirius fights the desperate urge to cling to Remus. Then, he and Remus disappear down to the gun controls, and Sirius follows Lily into the control room.

“Who the fuck is this?” he asks, taking the second seat at the control deck and automatically fitting his hands around the wheels. There’s a group of ships to the left of them, all aiming at them, and Sirius can’t recognise any of them.

“I don’t know,” Lily says. She looks crazed in a different way, wild and manic, as she fiddles with the controls, setting the fuel gauge and pushing the jets more than they ever have been.

The ship rumbles as James, presumably, starts firing back at the assailants. Sirius is, at least, relieved to know the gunnery is still in working order. 

“I can’t believe we replaced all the planks, and now we’ll have to replace them all again,” Sirius says. He wrenches the ship into gear, glancing at Lily. 

“Ridiculous,” she says, wheeling them around and jetting away from their attackers. It’s not fast enough, but it puts some distance between them, and a few of the shots fall short. Sirius can just about see some of their own shots making contact, but it’s not enough. They’re one tiny ship against a whole fleet, and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting remarkably smaller.

They fly in silence for a few seconds. Sirius has almost forgotten how easy it is to fly with Lily, reading her mind three seconds before she even thinks it and adjusting their course accordingly. It’s a relief, actually, knowing that she knows what he’ll do, and vice versa. James may be a better flier, technically, but he’s stupid and dumb in love, and Sirius can sense what Lily’ll do before she does it in a way that James hasn’t ever been able to.

“Do you think we’ll make it out of here?” he asks.

She doesn’t reply for a bit. The focus in her eyes bites at him. “I don’t know.”

“We will, won’t we?”

She pulls at a lever and slams her fist on a button. “I don’t know, Sirius.”

“We have to.”

Sirius watches her clench her jaw. “We do. They’ll be fine.”

“I wasn’t talking about Remus and James,” Sirius says. He twists a wheel around just in time for her to propel them forward, once again gaining more space on the other ships. “Do you recognise those ships?”

“I recognise the model,” she says. “P-8 OX MAX. That’s all. I don’t know who’s captaining.”

Sirius feels his heart plummet. There’s a thrum as another spray of bullets hits the ship, and an answering whir in return as James and Remus fire back. “Death eaters,” he says, hardly daring to believe it.

He feels Lily’s gaze flicker up to him. She pulls the steering controls around, spinning the ship in a one-eighty and starts flying backwards. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t know anyone else who flies that model.”

“Then we’re not going to make it out of here.”

He just shakes his head. “I should help them.”

“You should stay here. If James was flying, he’d just get in my way,” Lily says. “I can’t get us out of here alone.”

“We won’t escape them,” Sirius says. Another cannon embeds itself in their ship, and the force of it pushes them over.

“No. Not unless we can land somewhere. They won’t come to the ground, will they?”

“They wouldn’t,” Sirius says. “But there’s nowhere for us to land around here.”

Lily sniffs. She reaches out with a hand and grabs her Navi-goggles and pulls them on, then spins the ship back around so they’re flying forward once more. “There has to be one planet out here that we can land on.”

“I don’t think so,” Sirius says. He looks at her, and then out of the window. There’s one less ship than there was earlier, but they’re still losing. She’s right; the only way to get away from the death eaters would be to land somewhere, but he can’t see any planets, or stars, or any kind of land mass. “Where even are we?”

“That doesn’t matter,” she snaps. “We just have to get away. Then we can find out where we are. There’s something ahead of us.”

“What?”

“I- I don’t know. A ship? No,” she says, “no, it’s… I don’t know what it is.”

“Well, can we land on it?”

“Maybe. I’ll try.”

Sirius bites his lip, spins a dial, stares directly out of the window to see if he can see whatever landmass Lily’s talking about. He can’t, there’s nothing there but empty space. “Lily, I don’t know what you think you’re seeing, but I’m not seeing it.”

“There’s something there,” she says. “I can see it in the goggles. I think I can land on it.”

“What is it, an undocumented planet, then? Lily, I swear to you, I can’t see a thing here.”

“Once we land, they won’t be able to shoot at us. We’ll be operating under whatever laws are held on the planet,” she says. “And death eaters won’t come to land, will they?”

“They won’t stoop that low. They’ll think it’s beneath them,” Sirius says. “Just land already.”

“I’m trying, set the controls,” she says. She twists another lever, and Sirius copies her, adjusting the fuel consumption, and then they’re starting the landing sequence. Another cannon hits them, and the ship almost spins off course, but Sirius rights them like it’s second nature.

They land on a strip of ground that Sirius can’t directly see until the ship is on it. The firing almost immediately ceases, and Sirius strains to look out of the window, watching as the death eater ships retreat.

“Thank God,” he says, slumping back into the chair. Lily removes her Navi-goggles and exhales heavily.

“I never want to do that again,” she says. 

“Me neither.”

“We should go see where we are.”

“In a bit.”

James shoves his way into the control room. His hair is flying wildly around his face, and he looks mad with worry.

“Oh, thank God you’re both okay,” he says, immediately rushing over to Lily and grasping her face in his hands. “Why did we land?”

Remus hangs back in the doorway. Sirius can feel his eyes tracing over his body, like he’s checking for damage. “Where are we?”

Lily shrugs, and hysteria makes its way into her eyes. “I don’t know. I have no idea where we are. But we got away. And we’re fine. Right?”

“We’re fine,” James agrees, “but the ship isn’t. I can’t believe I spent all that time replacing the exos and now they’ve been destroyed again. It’s offensive.”

“Are you sure this planet is safe?” Remus asks. “It would be… painfully ironic to escape an attack by landing on a planet designed to kill us.”

“Don’t even say that,” Sirius says. “We should go out and see, though. Want to come with?”

Remus nods. “Yes. I know you don’t want to fight, but do you have handheld weapons? It’d be better to be safe, especially if you have no idea where we are.”

Lily nods. “You’re right. Sirius can find them. I’m going to stay here and assess the ship’s damage. James?”

“I’ll stay too,” James says. “We’ll try and see if we can identify whichever planet we’ve landed on.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius says, “we’ll take the suits, just in case. Keep alert. We’ll message if something happens.”

“Us too,” Lily says. “But at least we made it this far, hey?”

Sirius tries not to jinx it.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The planet they landed on is almost breathtakingly beautiful. Well, it’s beautiful in the way an abandoned church could be. Greenery grows over the ground wherever it can, and when it can’t, the dirt is pale yellow and dusty. It almost looks like paths, like it’s been walked over hundreds of times. But other than that, the planet seems uninhabited, and it sets alarm bells off in Sirius’s head.

Remus seems to feel it too, because he makes sure to always walk a half-step in front of Sirius, holding one of the light-rays Sirius had procured from the depths of their storage. The small act of protection sets butterflies off in Sirius’s stomach.

The sun - or what might be the sun - glows a pale red, and it’d almost be normal if it weren’t for the fact that there’s two of them. Sirius doesn’t even want to see what the moon(s?) might be like.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” he says, hardly daring to speak too loudly, lest he disturb something.

“Me neither,” Remus says, just as quietly. His fingers flex on the handle of the gun. “Are you okay? It can’t have been easy to try and navigate the ship through all of that.”

“It’s nothing we hadn’t prepared for. Space conflict isn’t something we like to do,” he says, “but, um. You know. It happens. Lily and I are a good team when it comes to this sort of thing. I’m just glad that James wasn’t alone, this time.”

“Do you two always fly together, then? I’d have thought she’d prefer flying with James.”

Sirius huffs out a laugh. “I think she does prefer flying with James. But in conflict, he gets in the way. He’s too distracted by her to be able to act on his instincts. Besides, he trained as a healer and a commercial pilot. Lily trained in all avenues, and I specialised in combat flight,” Sirius explains. “If we have to engage in combat, then she and I work better together than she and James do.”

“It was like you could read each other's minds,” Remus says. “James seemed to adjust to each new flight angle like he knew exactly what you were doing. And you and Lily were flying really well. It’s impressive. Most crew members have to work for years for that kind of bond, if they ever find it.”

Sirius shrugs. “It’s just natural for us, I guess. They’re like family at this point.”

“That’s nice,” Remus says. Then he tenses, and stops so suddenly that Sirius walks straight into his back.

It’s a really nice back. Sirius hates that thought as soon as he thinks it.

“What is it?”

“Did you see that?” Remus asks, with militarian intensity. 

“See what?” Sirius asks. He peers around Remus’s bicep, only slightly afraid and trying hard not to be. “I didn’t see anything.”

“Something moved over there,” he says. “Something. Some one? Maybe this planet isn’t uninhabited after all.”

“I didn’t see anything,” Sirius says.

Remus’s gaze flicks around. He seems almost paranoid. “There. Do you not see it?”

“No?”

“I’m going to see what it is,” he says. “Stay here.”

“What? No! I’m coming with you,” Sirius says. “What if it’s someone who wants to kidnap me? Leaving me here on my own would be dangerous.”

Remus looks in two minds. “Oh… fine. Come on. Be careful.”

“When am I not?”

Remus gives him a look. He doesn’t bother answering, and instead just heads straight towards whatever movement he saw. Sirius follows, trying to resist the urge to grasp onto the back of his shirt like a lost child. Because that would be embarrassing, and being stuck on an unknown planet with an attractive man is bad enough.

“What do you think it is?” Sirius asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think it’s an animal? Or a person?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Remus says. He lifts the gun slightly higher. 

It’s a kid. It’s an honest to God child, skinny as a twig and somewhat sickly looking, hiding in the undergrowth and staring up at them with incredibly wide eyes. It looks barely sixty pounds soaking wet, and hair so positively bright it must surely glow in the dark. 

“Oh, my…”

“It’s a kid,” Sirius says.

“Yeah,” Remus says. He sounds like all the breath has been knocked out of him.

“It’s a  _ kid.” _

Remus hands the gun over to Sirius and kneels down beside the child. “Hello. My name is Remus. What’s yours?”

The child looks at Remus for several long seconds. Sirius wonders if it’s about to pull out a knife and mutilate them far beyond repair, before it speaks and says, “Theodore.”

“Christ,” Sirius says. “That’s almost as bad as ‘Sirius’.”

“Shut up,” Remus mutters. He directs a well aimed jab at Sirius’s shin. “Hello, Theodore. Are you here alone?”

Theodore nods. 

Sirius feels his heart melt slightly. He crouches down next to Remus. “Listen, Teddy,” he says, “can we call you Teddy? How old are you?”

“Eleven,” Theodore says. “I’m grown.”

“Yes, you are,” Sirius agrees. “All we need to know is whether you’re on this planet alone, or if there’s someone else here. Can you tell us that?”

Remus holds his hand out. “It’s okay, Theodore. Just ignore him. Like I said, I’m Remus. This is Sirius. We’re going to help you. All you need to do is come with us.”

“Way to sound even creepier,” Sirius says. Theodore puts his hand in Remus’s anyway. 

“You can call me Teddy,” he says. Sirius suppresses his crow of triumph. “I’m on my own,” he says, puffing his chest out. “But I’m independent. I got my own food and everything.”

“That’s very impressive,” Remus says. He looks at Sirius somewhat desperately, like he’s got no clue what he’s doing. Sirius can only shrug. He has no experience in children either. “Why don’t you show us where you live?”

“I’ll message Lily and James,” Sirius says, when Remus stands up and Teddy leads him further onto the planet. “We really don’t have space for a fifth passenger,” he says, but he doubts they’ll be leaving here  _ without  _ Teddy. He hurries to catch up with them, looping his arm into Remus’s so they don’t forget him.

“Thank you,” Remus says. “Do you know what this planet is called?”

Teddy shakes his head. He stops in front of a pile of leaves. “Look,” he says, and points at it. “Home.”

Sirius almost wants to be sick. 

“That looks cosy,” Remus manages. He sounds as horrified as Sirius feels. “Are you happy living here?”

Teddy doesn’t respond for several minutes. Sirius wonders if that’s a typical eleven year old thing, or a ‘Teddy’ thing, or if going silent and still as a statue is par for the course when it comes to children. Eventually, Teddy shakes his head. He says, “it’s cold,” and Remus seemingly melts. 

He asks, “would you like to come with us?” Sirius can’t even contradict him, because Teddy looks so pathetic that he’s fairly certain his heart would tear in two and he’d be condemned to whatever hell the Leaders see fit if he did try to say no.

Sirius will be very surprised if they leave this planet without Teddy, seeing as he has Remus wrapped around every single one of his fingers already.

Teddy nods. He kicks dejectedly at his pile of leaves. “Where do you live?”

“On a spaceship,” Remus says. “Are you sure there’s no one else living here with you?”

“I’m sure,” Teddy says. “Do you really live on a spaceship?”

“It’s my spaceship,” Sirius says, “would you like to see it?”

“Why don’t you get all of the things that you’d like to bring with you?” Remus suggests. Teddy turns around to scavenge about in the pile, and Remus makes a series of faces at Sirius.

He can only guess what they might mean (what the fuck, are you sure, what are we doing?), and makes his own back (what the fuck!, no, I have no idea!?!). Then, Teddy turns back around, holding a ridiculously large leaf, coloured purple, and with a hole torn through the middle of it.

“Is that all you want to bring?” Remus asks.

Teddy nods. “Can I see your spaceship now?”

“Sure, kid,” Sirius says. He makes another face at Remus. “Why don’t you hold onto Remus’s hand and we’ll take you there?”

Teddy takes Remus’s hand willingly. Sirius resolutely does not stare at how Teddy’s tiny little palms seem to look right at home in Remus’s own, and instead starts to walk back the way they came. He tries hard to ignore the chatter Remus manages to coax from Teddy, because it really wouldn’t do to get attached so soon, especially since he’s not sure how intergalactic adoptions even work anymore, and if they’ll even be able to keep Teddy on board in the first place.

Sirius has no idea how to be a parent at all.

“So how did you end up on this planet?” Remus asks. Sirius keeps his eyes forward.

“I don’t know,” Teddy says. “I just came here.”

“Alone?”

“There wasn’t anyone else,” he says. Sirius wonders if Remus’s face is also doing a pitiful sort of look, too. 

“How long have you been here?” Remus asks. 

“Don’t know.”

“I’m sure we can find out at some point,” Remus says. “Look, can you see? That’s our spaceship.”

Teddy gasps. “Really?”

“Really, really,” Sirius says. “It’s called the Gryffindor. You’ll have to meet our other crew members.”

“There’s more of you?” Teddy asks. “It’s like a real spaceship!”

“Of course it’s a real spaceship,” Sirius grumbles. He hears Remus laugh behind him. “What else would it be, if not a real spaceship?”

“Maybe it’s a robot,” Teddy says.

“Guess what,” Remus says. Sirius can hear the faint rustle of fabric as he digs out in his pockets. “We have a robot too.”

“ _ What?! _ ”

Remus produces McGonagall from his pocket. “Yep! This is my robot, McGonagall. Say hello, McGonagall.”

“Hello,” McGonagall says.

Teddy practically squeals. “That’s so cool! Can I have one?”

“I don’t know yet,” Remus says. “You’ll have to talk to Sirius. He’s brilliant at making robots. But you can hold her, if you want. Just don’t drop her, okay?”

“I won’t,” Teddy says, so seriously that Sirius would almost think he was selling his firstborn child, or something. There’s a slight intake of breath as Remus puts McGonagall on Teddy’s palm, and if Sirius focuses, he can hear the whir of her motors as she rolls over his hand. “She’s amazing,” Teddy says. Remus chuckles.

“Thank you. Are you ready to see our ship?”

Sirius turns around once they reach the door. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Teddy nods so fiercely, Sirius fears his head will fall off. “I’m ready.”

Sirius pushes the door open. “James, Lily! We’re back!”

James hurries to the door, and then skids to a stop. “Am I dreaming, or have you multiplied?”

“This is Teddy,” Remus says. “Teddy, this is James. He flies with us. We found him while we were out. We can’t exactly leave a child on an unfamiliar planet, can we?”

James looks conflicted. “I guess you’re right. Hi, Teddy. I’m James. Were you here all on your own?”

“Yes,” Teddy says solemnly. “But don’t worry. I’m very independent.”

“I’m sure you are,” James says. “I’ll go and get Lily, then.”

Sirius gives him a look. It’s halfway between a cry for help and a don’t-look-at-me-like-that-you-would-have-done-the-same sort of thing. He nods, and heads back into the control room. Sirius can hear him chatting with Lily, and then the door opens again.

“James said you found a child,” she says. “Oh, Christ. You did.”

“This is Lily,” Remus says. He looks a lot like he’s enjoying this. “Lily, this is Teddy. He’s eleven, and he’s going to travel with us.”

“We don’t exactly have the space, though,” Lily says. She sounds like she doesn’t want to say it at all.

“Then he can have my bed,” Remus says immediately. “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. We can’t leave him here all alone, can we?”

“Fuck off are you sleeping on the floor,” Sirius says, “he can have my bed. It’s my ship, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Remus fixes him with a glare. Lily clears her throat. “You’re right, Remus,” she says, “we’ll find space somewhere. Doesn’t he have parents, or something?”

“He said he’s the only one here,” Remus says. “And we didn’t see anyone else. I think he’s the only one.”

She runs a hand through her hair. “Okay. Well, we’re going to need some materials so we can fix the ship again. If there’s someone else about, I’m sure we’ll run into them at some point. Did you two see anything else while you were out?”

Sirius shakes his head. “Nothing much. Just leaves, and weeds. And dirt. We didn’t go exactly far, though, so maybe there’s something else out there.”

He’s interrupted by a great thudding just outside the door. James startles, and Sirius automatically aims the gun at the door.

“What the fuck was that?” Lily asks. She reaches over to pull the door open.

“Lily, wait-!”

She pauses with her hand on the handle. “What?”

James bites his lip. “We don’t know what that was. We don’t know what planet we’re on. At least check with the cameras before opening the door.”

She merely glares at him and reaches over to pull the gun from Sirius’s grip, hefting it onto her own shoulder and wrenching the door open. 

“What is it?” Remus asks.

“Its… It's wood,” Lily says. She sounds completely confused. “A hammer. A spanner. Nails. I thought you said there wasn’t anything out here.”

Sirius frowns, peering around her. Sure enough, there’s a pile of wooden planks, a tool box, and a pile of nails sitting right in front of the door. “There wasn’t anything out here,” he says, “I have no idea where that came from.”

She hands him back the gun. “Someone give me a map.”

“Why?” James asks. He pulls her Navi-goggles and a tablet from the control room and hands them to her. “What is it?”

Lily pulls the goggles on and taps something on the tablet. “I’ve only ever heard myths about this planet, if it is the one I think it is,” she says. “I never even thought it was real, but I don’t know what else it could be.”

“What planet? Sirius asks.

“The come and go planet,” Remus says. Lily nods. “I’ve heard of it. I thought it was unplottable.”

“It is,” she says. “It’s supposed to be, anyway. I only know the vague coordinates because I know someone who found it years ago, and they asked me to check it out. I’ve never been here, though. And I’ve never heard of someone else being on it when someone lands. But we’re… we’re in the right place for it.”

“What’s the come and go planet?” James asks.

“It’s a planet that only appears when a traveller needs it,” Remus explains. “It’s untrackable, unplottable. Practically invisible.”

“That explains why we couldn’t see anything before we landed,” Sirius says.

Lily nods. She lifts the goggles up again. “Some people call it the planet of requirement. It provides anything the inhabitants might need, as well. Within reason, of course. Some reports say it’s slightly sentient, or telepathic, or both. That must be why it appeared. We were in the right place, getting attacked by the death eaters. It knew we needed it. So it appeared.”

“That’s why it gave us the wood, too,” Remus says, “it knew we needed it. So it gave it to us.”

“Are we sure we can trust it?” James asks, doubtfully.

“We don’t have much choice,” Lily says. “We can either stay here forever, or make use of what it’s giving us.”

“Well, I vote we make use of it,” Sirius says. “I mean, no offence, Teddy, but this place is a shithole.”

Teddy giggles. “No offence. It’s not my house.”

“How did you get here, then, Teddy?” James asks. “Surely it would only have appeared to you if you needed it.”

“I already asked that,” Remus says. “He doesn’t know.”

James sighs. “Right then. I guess we have no choice, then. We might as well get to work fixing up our ship and get going. Those death eaters have probably gone now.”

“They won’t be able to detect us here,” Lily says. “We’re safe as long as we’re landed.”

“We should try and get out of here as soon as we can, though,” Remus says. “Other people might need the planet.”

“You’re right,” Lily says. “I suppose we have work to do.”

“Fixing the ship for the second time in two days,” James grumbles. “Let’s get to it, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have one more chapter in my reserve, but i havent started chapter6 yet. i have no idea when itll happen, but in the mean time i hope u enjoyed this!! pls let me know what u think.
> 
> thanks for reading!!
> 
> this fic has 54 pages & 29k words on google drive rn. which is... fun. and im very excited.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James’s silence is comforting in a way that only comes with time and exposure. Sleep doesn’t come easy that night, but James breathes and breathes and breathes, and Sirius finds that he can too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!
> 
> content warning for even more handwavey science and chemistry and... all sorts.

Luckily, there are less damaged planks than there were before they left M-27. It doesn’t take long to fix them up, especially if James and Remus work together.

Remus was right. He is stronger than he looks, and Sirius spends most of the day watching them work. The climate on the planet is mild, not cold and not hot, either, but the exertion from lugging planks and nails and equipment back and forth across the ship must be getting to them since James removes his shirt and Remus rolls his sleeves up to his elbows. It’s so distracting it’s almost embarrassing.

Teddy sits next to Sirius. He’s holding McGonagall, and they seem to be playing some sort of tic-tac-toe game on her display screen.

“Are you sure I can fly with you?” Teddy asks once McGonagall has won the third game in a row.

“Sure,” Sirius says.

“I can stay here, if that’s easier,” Teddy continues.

“Of course you can fly with us,” Sirius says. “We’re not going to leave you to fend for yourself out here. Unless you’d prefer to stay here.”

“I want to fly with you,” Teddy says. McGonagall sets up another game on her display screen.

“There we are, then. We’re not just going to kick you out,” Sirius says. “Unless, I don’t know. You decide to destroy all of our equipment and murder us in our sleep.”

“I promise not to do that.”

“Then you’re fine,” Sirius tells him. “You pass the test. You can fly with us for as long as you want. And, if you like, we can look for your parents or guardians. We can take you to them, if you want to see them.” That is, of course, assuming Teddy has guardians. He might be a test-tube baby, abandoned and left to fend for himself soon after conception. 

Teddy shrugs. McGonagall puts an ‘X’ in the middle square on the grid, and Sirius points at the left middle square for Teddy. She puts an ‘O’ in it for him. “I don’t even know if I have guardians.”

“Mm,” Sirius says. There’s not much else to say to that. “Well, if that’s the case, then we can talk about what to do next. I don’t know if we’ll be legally able to adopt you, or anything, but I guess we can look into it. If you’d like to stay with us.”

“You’d adopt me?”

McGonagall puts an ‘X’ in the bottom middle square. Teddy puts an ‘O’ in the top middle square. “If you want. We’ll have to talk to Lily, James, and Remus about it, of course. And research a bit,” Sirius says. “I haven’t seen my parents in years, and I’ve never had a kid, so I don’t know how the process for this sort of thing goes.”

“I’d like to be adopted by you,” Teddy says. McGonagall ‘X’s out the middle right square, and Teddy puts an ‘O’ in the top left. 

“Really?” Sirius asks. McGonagall puts an ‘X’ in the top right square, and Sirius reaches over to put an ‘O’ in the bottom left one. She strikes through the line of ‘O’s and displays a clapping emoticon. “Nice win, kid.”

Teddy scoffs. “You won it for me.”

Sirius shrugs. “You can take credit for me. Come on. We should go and see if James and Remus want any help.”

“We’ll just get in the way,” Teddy says. “They have it handled.”

Sirius can hardly argue. Remus looks like he knows exactly what he’s doing, carrying about planks on his shoulders. Even James looks impressed. “Yeah, you’re right,” he says. “Go see if Lily wants some help, then. She’s busy trying to figure out how to plot this planet, isn’t she?”

Teddy nods. “I’m rubbish at geography, though.”

“Me too,” Sirius says. “McGonagall, let’s play battleships.”

“What’s battleships?” Teddy asks.

Sirius brings up a display on his watch. McGonagall connects to it immediately. “You have to sink my ships,” he says. “You plot them out on the graph and we each take turns to launch a cannon and try to sink the other person’s ships.”

Teddy frowns. McGonagall displays an eight by eight grid. “Okay.”

“It’ll make more sense as we play,” Sirius says. “You have to start by putting your ships on your own grid. Wherever you want.”

“Okay,” Teddy nods. He bites his tongue when he’s concentrating.

Sirius does the same thing. He wonders if he’ll even be able to let Teddy go, if they do find his guardians.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I saw you talking to Teddy earlier,” Remus says, once the sky has darkened considerably and Lily has given up trying to get them to come back into the ship. She’d settled for pushing plates of dehydrated longlife food at them, and glaring until Sirius had taken a fork too.

Sirius shrugs. He takes a bite of dry, over-undercooked broccoli. “Yeah. He wasn’t sure if we really wanted him to stay.”

“Oh,” Remus says. He frowns, and Sirius admires the way his brow crumples. “He  _ can  _ stay, right?”

“Of course,” Sirius says, “we may seem like assholes, but we’re not totally heartless. It’d be irresponsible to leave him out here, and we can get to work on tracking down his family once we’re off this planet.”

“If he has a family,” Remus says. His voice takes on a decidedly cynical, bitter tone.

“If he doesn’t have a family, then we’ll look into our options for what to do then,” Sirius tells him. “James is making it his thing to pick up struggling waifs. We won’t just dump Teddy. The only thing we can do for now is figure out how we’re going to fit him on the ship.”

“I already said, he can take my bed.”

Sirius gives him a look. “And where will you sleep?”

Remus shrugs. He doesn’t even look embarrassed or ashamed. “The floor. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

He has a lot of skeletons in his closets. Sirius knows that much, and Remus probably hasn’t mentioned all of it in the first place. It still doesn’t stop Sirius from reacting with surprise, reeling from the casual references to his life before them, before M-27, before everything. It makes him wonder what might have become of Remus, had James never convinced him to fly with them.

“I’m not letting you sleep on the floor,” Sirius says. “You can take my bunk.”

“I’m not kicking you out of your bunk,” Remus says. He’s firm in the way that tells Sirius it’ll be a lost cause to try and fight it. 

“Fine,” he says. “We’ll share my bunk.”

“What-?”

“I’m not having you sleep on the floor,” Sirius declares. “So you’ll share with me. And once we’ve stopped at Y-4X, and got paid and all of that, we can start on renovations and redecorating for Teddy, if he decides he does want to stay.”

Remus says, “that’s a lot of effort for a kid you haven’t known for more than twenty four hours.”

“So? You didn’t know us for more than five minutes before agreeing to fly with us.”

“That’s different,” Remus grumbles. He almost growls. It’s probably meant to be intimidating, but it’s mostly amusing and adorable. “I’m an adult. I can make my decisions and look after myself. Teddy’s a child.”

“A child in need, yeah.”

“Sure, a child in need who presumably got dumped by his family,” Remus says. “That’s a lot of trauma.”

“We’ve all got trauma,” Sirius waves his hand. “Teddy’s a kid who needs help, and we can help him. I know you think the same.”

Remus sighs. “I know. I just… old habits die hard. I have to second guess everything I do.”

Sirius asks, “what for?” and Remus turns one of his hands into claws like that explains everything.

“I’m sorry,” he says once his hands are both back to hands. “It’s hard to make decisions when you don’t know which ones will come back to bite you in the ass. And I don’t want to put Teddy at risk.”

“I know,” Sirius says. “I know what you mean. But I think this decision will be okay.”

Remus pushes some dusty mashed potatoes around on his plate. “I hope so. I feel bad bringing a child into this… mess of chemical sabotage we have going on.”

“Me too,” Sirius says. “But he’ll be fine. He’s spent the day playing with McGonagall. Maybe we can fit her with a miniature weapon so she can protect him, should worst come to worst.”

“You are not putting a gun on my robot.”

“We’ll see,” is all Sirius says. Remus gives him such a fierce, stern look that he can’t help but laugh. 

“You’re not! I forbid it,” he says, grinning just enough that it takes the bite out of his glare. “McGonagall is a pacifist robot, and she will stay that way. You know, weaponized AIs are forbidden in some systems.”

“What? Really?”

Remus nods. “Yep. Really. The Hadeharia system has a law in place that basically says any robot with a functioning weapons system has to be catalogued and the system deactivated whilst you’re on the planets. It’s supposed to reduce threat of terrorism or war.”

“Does it work?” Sirius asks.

Remus shrugs. “A bit, I guess. But I’m sure if people really wanted to explode a planet they wouldn’t just equip a robot with dynamite. I think if they were really determined to do it, they’d find a way. So. I don’t know.”

Sirius doesn’t reply. It hits a bit too close to home, and Remus lapses into silence too. The sun is nearly completely behind the horizon now, and the coppery half-light emphasises the highs and lows of Remus’s face, washing him out in the dusk. 

“You reckon we’ll be ready to lift off tomorrow?” Remus asks after a few minutes.

Sirius nods. “Don’t see why not. We’ll have to check some of the screws before we go, but you and James did some good work today.”

“Where will we go?”

“Y-4X,” Sirius says, “we’re cutting it close to check in for a job there. There’ve been a lot of disturbances the past few days.”

“What job is it?” Remus asks. Then he pauses for a second. “It is legal, isn’t it?”

Sirius chuckles. “What do you take us for? Of course, it’s legal. We’re delivering some materials between planets. Most independent markets don’t have transport so they just hire us. Our ship has enough firepower to transport most loads, and we’re a small enough crew that we don’t have to charge too high.”

“So what are we delivering?”

“Dunno yet,” Sirius shrugs. “We’ll find out when we get there.”

“What if they ask you to deliver drugs, or something?” Remus says. “Y-4X isn’t exactly known for its good reputation.”

“If they ask us to deliver anything illegal, then we’ll probably walk away,” Sirius says. “You know you don’t have to worry about anything, right? We won’t support things we don’t condone, unless we’re really desperate, and if it is illegal, then trust me, we won’t get you involved if you don’t want to be.”

“Okay,” Remus says, though he doesn’t sound convinced.

“I’m serious, Lily, James, and I know how to get around this,” he says, “you don’t have to get involved if you don’t want to be..”

Remus nods this time. Sirius watches him bite his lip and swallow. “I know. I just can’t help but worry. Like I said, old habits.”

“I get it,” Sirius says. He knocks his knee against Remus’s, mostly on accident. “After I first left my family, I was terrified they’d come after me and haul me back home. James just kept saying that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me, and it got easier. Till now, I guess.”

“Thanks,” Remus says. He knocks his knee back. “You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“‘Course we did. We’re not about to let our chemical engineer get arrested for something he’s not even guilty for,” Sirius says.

Remus smiles. The sun is completely set, and the sky is clear, but there are no stars, and no moon. Somehow, the ground is still illuminated, and in the silence, Remus looks like he truly belongs.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Remus puts Teddy to bed in his bunk. He’d fallen asleep halfway through whatever dinner Lily had managed to scrounge up, and Sirius’s heart just about melts. Teddy looks so much younger in slumber, so much freer, and it irrevocably reminds Sirius of himself. 

He stands in the doorway of their bunkroom and watches as Remus pushes a kiss into Teddy’s forehead, and he knows immediately that Teddy is going to be with them for the long run. Remus’s breath disturbs Teddy’s hair just enough for Sirius to see it move, and then he stands back up and turns around, smiling at Sirius.

Remus gestures vaguely towards Teddy. “Sorry, I… We should let him sleep.”

“Yeah,” Sirius says. He lets Remus pass him, to climb back up to the main deck, and takes a minute to watch Teddy rest, to watch the rise and fall of his chest - which is just ever so slightly off beat - and tries to match it with his own breathing.

James’s footsteps stop behind him. “It’s kind of creepy to watch an eleven year old sleep, you know.”

Sirius kicks out one of his feet, nailing James in the shin. He only just manages not to make a sound, which is a commendable effort if the harsh exhale he lets out is anything to go by. Sirius can’t help but scoff. “Yeah, alright. What are you doing down here?”

“Came to find you.”

“What do you want me for?”

James shrugs. Sirius doesn’t see him, but he can feel the shift in the air. “To make sure you’re okay. To tell you that Lily found the, um. The ring.”

“Oh,” Sirius says.

“Yeah,” James says, “she was looking for bedclothes. Why did you put it in with the linens?”

“I didn’t,” Sirius says. Really, he can barely remember where he put it. He hasn’t seen that goddamn ring for years.

James swallows loud enough that Sirius can hear. “Did you ever open it?” he asks.

“What do you mean, open it?” Sirius asks. He turns around to look James in the eye, and all he sees is concern so deep, he could almost drown in it.

“Perhaps you should sit down,” James says. “At least, away from Teddy.”

Sirius frowns, and then nods. James heads into his and Lily’s bunkroom, and shuts the door. “What is this about?”

“Lily found the ring because it fell,” James says, “and she couldn’t catch it before it hit the ground. When it did, it popped open, and spilt this powder everywhere.”

It feels almost like someone’s stabbed an icepick into his heart. “What?”

James looks distinctly solemn. “Remus will take a look at it. We’ll find out what it is. Maybe it’s just dust.”

“It came from the family,” Sirius spits, “there’s no way it’s just dust.”

“I know, mate,” James says. Sirius can see him biting his tongue. “Here’s what we’ll do. We’ll take off tomorrow, and we‘ll go straight to the Yore system and get to that job on 4X. Then, we’ll go to the Termini system, and do sightspotting and eat at all the takeaway stalls, and once that’s done, we’ll track down the family and confront them.”

“So it’ll be like our last meal,” Sirius says. “We’ll see the Spires of Lundr, and we’ll eat shitty space food, and we’ll ride off to our deaths like heroes? Is that it?”

“No, Sirius-”

“Because that’s what’ll happen, James,” Sirius says. His voice wavers and he ignores it desperately. “We can’t go after them because we’ll never come back from it. They have the manpower, the money, and the- the inhumanity enough to overpower us completely. Do you not get it? We can’t go to them. We have to wait this out, and maybe we’ll die in the process but I’d rather die alone in space then at their hands.”

James is silent for several minutes. The words hang in the air like a sword over his head, heavy and saccharine and completely awful. “We can’t stay here like sitting ducks,” he says, eventually. “We should at least live our lives whilst we wait for them to end.”

“I can’t,” Sirius says, and his voice is sour now, dry and sharp and edged in mercury. “I don’t want to play into their hands again. I never want to see them, any of them. I can live my life here, away from it all, and then once they find me, I’ll let it go.”

“But you won’t have  _ lived. _ ”

“I’ve lived all I need to,” he says, and rubs a hand over his eyes. Sirius swallows thickly and relishes in the burn of welling tears. “I’m afraid, James.”

“Me too,” James says, and he sounds just as scared as Sirius feels. “If you die, I’ll never fly again,” and Sirius knows it’s a promise. 

“And if you die, I’ll never either,” Sirius says, and it’s as much of an oath as anything could be. 

James’s silence is comforting in a way that only comes with time and exposure. Sleep doesn’t come easy that night, but James breathes and breathes and breathes, and Sirius finds that he can too. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dawn brings with it the red sun and new light. Sirius wakes up to James putting a mug of something sweet and thick next to him, and Lily lingering in the doorway. He sits up slowly, and his head feels heavy, eyes crusty and sticky. History is repeating itself. 

“Drink it,” Lily instructs, and her voice is quiet in the pressure from the sunrise. “It’ll help you feel better.”

“I feel fine,” Sirius says, but he knows it’s a lie. He knows James knows it’s a lie. 

“Just drink it,” James tells him. It’s Sapient chai, the stuff that James’s parents buy in bulk from exclusive dealers, and James had only continued that tradition. It’s James’s go-to  _ shit’s fucked up _ drink, and Sirius can taste that in it.

He makes sure to glare at James whilst he drinks. “I’m not ill, you know.”

“No,” Lily says, “you’re not. But you  _ are  _ struggling. Anyone would be. And we need you at the top of your game if we’re flying today.”

“You can fly with James,” Sirius says. 

“And if we get attacked again? Or roped into conflict?” James asks. “I don’t know if Remus has a valid pilots license, and you know I’ll have to man the cannons. And Lily would need you on controls.”

“Not to mention the fucking child you bought home,” Lily adds. She pokes a finger at Sirius in playful accusation. “Who would look after him?”

That brings Sirius to a pause. He manages to say, “Remus would,” before realising she’s right and it’s a moot point to argue. “Fine.”

They both stare at him until the cup is empty. Then Lily says, “It was sulphanide in that ring.”

Sirius is fairly sure that if he hadn’t put the mug down by now, he’d have dropped it. “What?”

James gives Lily a look that’s almost like  _ why did you tell him that?  _ before turning to Sirius and nodding gravely. “Sulphanide. I know. I mean, I knew your family were bastards but I didn’t think they’d stoop that low.”

“I need to talk to Remus,” Sirius says. He sits up, and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. James moves so he can stride past, and so does Lily. 

“Sirius?”

He pauses just inside the door, waiting for James to speak.

“It’ll be okay,” James says. He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than anyone else. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Remus is sitting at the kitchen/dining/work table in the main body of the ship, fiddling with a vial of opalescent powder and a pen. Teddy’s sitting opposite him, playing with McGonagall, and asking questions that Remus answers dutifully. 

“What are planets made of?” Teddy asks. McGonagall trills and Teddy taps at her display screen. 

“Usually rock,” Remus says. “Dirt. Sand. Water. At least, most habitable planets are made of that. Other planets are made of… lava. Or nothing.”

“How can a planet be made of nothing?”

“Planets that used to exist,” Remus explains. He twirls the pen between his fingers. “Or planets that don’t exist yet. They have designated places on maps, and technically still exist. But there’s several planets that don’t have any tangible land matter; only an atmosphere.”

“Who lives on those?” Teddy asks. 

“Ghosts,” Remus says, “spirits. Intangible beings. Those that don’t require solid land, or a physical society.”

“We’ve been to one of them,” Sirius speaks up. Teddy turns to look at him, already asking him to expand without ever saying the words. “It was surreal. We flew near it. Thought about landing, but… they don’t need any docks on those planets.”

“Who lived there?” Teddy asks.

“Like Remus said, spirits. No one with physical attributes,” Sirius says. “They were just floating around out there.”

“ _ Woah. _ ”

“Woah is right,” Remus says. “I’ve always wanted to see one too.”

“We could go,” Sirius says. He slides onto the chair next to Teddy, stealing a glance at McGonagall to see that they’re playing battleships again. “You two deserve to see the galaxies.”

Remus smiles. He looks soft and worn in the morning light, but content all the same, and Sirius feels indescribably happy to see it happening under his roof. “You came up here to ask about the sulphanide, didn’t you?”

Sirius nods. Teddy asks, “what’s sulphanide?”

“What in the worlds do they teach you kids at school these days?” Remus asks. He reaches across the table to poke at the back of Teddy’s hand. “Sulphanide is a type of pharmaceutical drug. It’s only available from hospitals, and no one ever takes it home, because they use it to treat specific illnesses. Sulphanide is used as a numbing agent, or a pain killer, and in its rawest form, it creates a feeling of great euphoria.”

“But if you take too much, or if you take it without anything for it to treat, it starts attacking your own body,” Sirius says. 

Remus nods, grimly. “Sirius is right. It works by identifying and destroying foreign antibodies, which is how it heals. When it does this, it releases a chemical that paralyses your nerves. That stops the pain.”

“So if you overdose, you don’t feel the pain as it kills you,” Sirius says, “in fact, you don’t even realise you’re dying until you’re dead.”

“Exactly. If there’s nothing for it to attack, it’ll mutate and start to attack your healthy body and cells,” Remus says. He taps the pen against the vial. “It’s extremely strictly regulated, and rarely used even in hospital settings. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen this much of it in a hospital, let alone outside of one.”

Sirius shrugs. “One of the cousins is a doctor. She probably stole it and they’ve built up a supply.”

“It sounds scary,” Teddy says. 

“It is,” Remus agrees. “It’s the sort of thing that we should give to law enforcers.”

“We can’t,” Sirius says. 

Remus frowns. He puts the pen and the vial down. “Why not?”

“The family has a reputation. I may not be part of it, anymore, but I still have their name,” he says. “No one likes them, but they’re rich, and they’re powerful.”

“Safety in numbers,” Remus realises.

“If we bring that to  _ anyone,  _ they’ll assume it’s mine. And I don’t have their money or their fear mongering anymore,” Sirius says. “I’ll get locked up instead.”

“We can’t keep it here,” Remus says. “Teddy, go and see if Lily can show you all the buttons on her control deck.”

Teddy looks between the two of them, analytically. He pushes away from the table, clutching McGonagall tightly, hovering like he’s not quite sure where to go.

Lily appears at the top of the ladder like magic. She barely spares Sirius and Remus a glance, like she already knows what’s happening, and instead directs all of her attention to Teddy. “Hey, squirt. Are you looking for something to do?”

She follows him into the control room, peering around the door before closing it, eyeing Sirius like she’s trying to say something.

As soon as the door shuts, Sirius asks, “are you sure it’s sulphanide?”

Remus nods slowly. He spins the vial with the tip of his finger, like he’s distracted by its very presence. “Yes. I’m sure. It’s pure. Clean. And I'm sorry. This can’t be easy to hear.”

“It’s not the first time they’ve set me up to kill me,” Sirius shrugs, “and I doubt it’ll be the last. I don’t like having it onboard, though, and I just don’t want anyone else to get caught in the crosshairs.”

“So you’d sacrifice yourself instead?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Remus makes a sort of smile at the table. “James would never let you.”

“Nor would Lily,” Sirius says. He’s long since resigned himself to the knowledge that James and Lily have taken it upon themselves to prevent any harm coming to Sirius, ever. 

There’s a breath of silence before Remus says, quietly, “nor would I. For what it’s worth.”

Sirius isn’t quite sure how to convey just how much worth that holds. He settles for sprawling back in his chair and planting a foot on the edge of the table, trying to hide his blush from Remus. “And for what it’s worth, I quite like having you on the ship.”

The smile Remus gives him is bashful and fringing on happy. “I like being here. Barring all this threat of death and war, I’ve never felt so safe in my life.”

“What about those fire escapes?” Sirius asks. “I thought they were protected, required by state or something.”

Remus scoffs. “They stopped people coming in and out if they weren’t authorised, but no one paid any attention to any violence within the communities. Protected is a stretch, and if you’re living on the streets, everything is free game and no one gives a fuck about you.”

“At least you’re here now.”

“At least I’m here now,” Remus agrees. “I miss the Escapes, but… I’m happy with you.”

“We can go back to visit,” Sirius says, “but now you have the rest of the world beneath your feet. You could get a job, or go back to school, or do whatever you like.”

“And if I wanted to stay with you?”

Sirius nudges Remus’s leg with his foot. “Then you’d always be welcome.”

“I heard you and James talking last night,” he says. He nudges back, tentatively.

“About what?”

“‘You’ve lived all you need to?’”

“Oh,” Sirius says. He finds he can barely meet Remus’s eyes. “I just… I’m tired. I’m really tired of fighting the family at every opportunity, or opposing them with everything… about everything. If it all ends for me tomorrow, then I couldn’t find myself wanting. Not for anything. I just want to let go of them, for once and for all. And if that means they’ll take me in the process, then… What’s done is done.”

“Isn’t there things left for you to do?” Remus says, “you can’t have done everything the world has to offer.”

“I’ve done enough.”

“Would you not miss it?”

Sirius nods, “yes. I think so. I’d miss it; I’d miss all of you. But I’d die taking the family down, pushing us into extinction, and then I’d know that wherever you went, you’d be safe from whatever curse I’m under.”

“I don’t think you’re under a curse,” Remus says slowly. “I think you’re being crushed by the weight of another person’s mistakes, and you don’t want to push the blame onto the rightful recipient. Because you left when they were angry, and you were angry, didn’t you?” He pauses for Sirius to nod. “Then you have no way else to see them. They’re violent and they’re angry, because that’s how you left them.”

“Then what are they now?”

“I think they’re jealous,” Remus says, “and angry, and I think they’re grieving, and I think they’re delusional.”

“What do they even have to be jealous of?” Sirius asks, disbelievingly. “They have everything I don’t. They’re everything I’m not.”

“Maybe they’re jealous of us. They’re grieving the son they wanted,” Remus suggests. 

“They never had me.”

“No,” Remus agrees. “And they never will. But you’re their firstborn son, and they are an old, powerful family. There are still some hierarchical expectations that they’d have wanted to fill. And you broke all of them.”

“That’s no excuse. They’re trying to grieve something they never had,” Sirius says. 

Remus’s nod is full of indistinct emotion. “I know. There’s no excuse for what they’re doing. Your family is stuck fast in their ways.”

“Then what do we do?”

“I don’t think we can bring them back from the edge,” Remus says. “I don’t think they’ll see the error of their ways.”

“They never have before,” Sirius says. “All that’s left to do is destroy them.”

“Literally or figuratively?”

Sirius pauses. His brain runs so fast he can almost hear it chugging. “Figuratively. If we destroy their reputation, make their supporters turn on them, ruin everything they’ve built up, they won’t have anything left. They’ll be ruined forever.”

“What would that do for you?”

“I’ll be fine. Change my name, maybe,” Sirius says, “but we can fly off-grid. Like we have for the past few years.”

Remus makes a face that Sirius can’t decipher. It’s distinctly flirty, but kind of calculated. “So you’d need a name to take, then?”

“I guess so. Why?”

“No reason,” Remus says. “Just… you could take mine.”

Sirius pauses. It feels like even the breath inside his lungs freezes. “What?”

Remus’s eyes widen. He jolts up, and the vial starts to roll towards the edge of the table. “Not like that! I just meant… no one knows who I am, and most records of the Lupin family have been expunged or destroyed completely. There’s no paper trail, like there would be with James’s name, or Lily’s,” he sighs heavily. “ ...It’s stupid… It was just an idea.”

“No, it was a good idea!” Sirius says, “seriously. You’re right. It’d make us look like family, and it’d protect us both to have that connection and the anonymity. We’ll… we’ll look into. Once we’re done at Y-4X, we’ll do it.”

Remus flushes, and the molten gold hue makes his freckles stand out. “Okay. Okay!” His grin is nervous and shy, but overwhelmingly genuine and happy, and Sirius can only echo it with one of his own. For a few minutes, the sky outside seems to glow ever so brighter.

The vial falls off of the table with a clunk, and thankfully the glass doesn’t break. Remus ducks down to pick it up, and bumps his head on the table when he arises. Sirius’s grin turns into a laugh, and it feels like he could just about float all the way to the future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the brief hiatus; i havent finished writing chapter six yet and was reluctant to post without at least one chapter on the backburner. and yet ill post regardless, because I feel like it's been long enough. hopefully will have 6 finished soon enough, but never let it be said that I'm good at adhering to regular posting, and my writing tends not to follow a schedule. it'll come when it comes. hopefully.
> 
> anyway, I hope everyone's staying safe! and id love to know what you thought of this chapter. thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You could,” he says. “Kiss me, I mean. You could kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEE

Somewhere along the line, somewhere between leaving the Planet of Requirement and launching themselves back into the depths of space, Sirius realises that he’s never felt more at peace. It does something weird to his rationale, to know that he feels relaxed despite being hunted by possibly the most dangerous, powerful people in the galaxy, and his family (who are somewhat interchangeable with the most powerful, dangerous people in the galaxy), and his very presence is putting his friends in danger. But still, he feels somewhat calm, and that echoes out across the whole ship.

One day into their journey to Y-4X, and Lily seems more relaxed too. She’s not as stressed, paranoid, not constantly looking over her shoulder. For the first few hours of flying, she’d ordered James to man the weaponry, just in case, and Sirius had had to sit in the control room with her.

Somehow, the thought of engaging in intergalactic combat is much less desirable now that they have a child on board.

Sirius finds himself dwelling on Remus’s proposal in their downtime - in between flying and floating through space - and he wonders what Remus truly meant by it. He wonders what he  _ wants  _ it to mean.

It’s no secret that Remus is awfully good looking, whether he sees it or not, and Sirius is fairly certain that Lily and James have realised by now that Sirius’s intentions towards him are less than pure. But that doesn’t mean Remus sees the same; for all his smarts, he’s woefully oblivious.

And now Remus is sharing a bunk with him. After offering his last name to Sirius.

Sirius just isn’t sure what to do about any of it anymore, so he focuses on the flight to Y-4X, and answers Teddy’s questions about the stars they pass to the best of his ability. He decides that he’s not going to dwell on the what-ifs for any longer than they should be dwelled upon for, and distracts himself for the remainder of the flight by taking apart all of their computer systems and rewiring them to make sure they’re impenetrable to any cyber attacks his family, or someone else, might launch.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

They reach Y-4X just in time to check in for the job, and thankfully, the planet is low enough on the interstellar food chain that no one questions how or when or why they gained extra passengers somewhere along the line, or why their ship is in such a state of disrepair. As long as they can get the job done, Sirius knows, no one cares about who or what you are.

Y-4X itself, the actual planet, isn’t so bad. There isn’t much greenery, and what landscapes they do have are barren and full of rock formations. There isn’t much life, but it’s interesting and beautiful in its own, depressing right. There’s a lot of open air and empty spaces, and unlike the more densely populated systems, all the stars are visible without the standard issue pollution vacuums. Remus and Teddy both seem utterly awed, despite the fact that they’ve been flying through the very same stars for the past few days.

The docks at Y-4X are in an equal state to their ship (which is to say, they’re cobbled together with all sorts of materials, most of which have holes in), and Sirius is relieved to find that they somehow fit in. For appearances sake, it helps. No one’s going to steal a ship that looks worse than the place that’s housing it. He just has to hope that no one digs below their ships surface, lest they find the real gems.

They’re received by a creature who looks like a mix of Sapient and an old age rhinoceros. Sirius is fairly certain that the body is in no way Sapient at all, however, but he doesn’t voice his concerns. That would be rude, even if James seems to be thinking the very same thing.

The person introduces themselves as Brancon, and leads them down the docks to a different ship that’s distinctly smaller than theirs; a single pilot vehicle that looks like it spawned some time in the Cretaceous period and hasn’t had any upgrades since then. Sirius hasn’t seen an engine like  _ that  _ since he started studying Ancient Mechanics as a hobby in school.

“We don’t have many places to stay on this planet,” Brancon says, as they walk, “we don’t get many visitors. I hope you’ll be able to stay in your ship. Of course, we can provide food and fuel if you need it. At a price, obviously, but I suppose we could give you a discount.”

“We can stay in our ship,” Lily says, “and don’t worry. We have enough food for a while, and our fuel is self-replenishing. Unless someone drains our tanks, we’ll be fine.”

Brancon looks relieved. “Good. Your job is to transport the materials inside this ship to Y-39. Use as much discretion as you can, and get it done as quickly as possible.”

James frowns at Lily, and then Sirius. Sirius can see the cogs turning in his head. “What are the materials?”

“Nothing important,” Brancon says, dismissively.

“This is above the law, isn’t it?” Lily says. “We don’t do dealings with anything illegal, I’m sure you understand.”

Now Brancon looks concerned. “It’s not strictly illegal,” they insist, “You won’t get prosecuted, and no one here will report you to any law enforcement agency. I can assure you of that. For all intents and purposes, your tracks will be covered. I’d only hope that you return the favour.”

“What is it?” James asks again, “we won’t take the job unless you tell us what we’re transporting.”

Brancon sighs. At least, Sirius thinks it’s a sigh, given that it sounds more like a combination of a snore and a quiet screech. Remus hovers idly at Sirius’s shoulder, buzzing with nervous energy, and Sirius reaches out to take his hand. “It’s sulphanide,” they say, eventually. “It’s not illegal, okay?”

They all fall silent. Sirius feels the air around them take on some sort of tangibility.

“It’s not illegal,” Lily agrees, “but it’s not exactly legal, either, is it? It’s a strictly regulated substance, and you’re not supposed to have it outside of hospitals.”

“Do you think hospitals in these systems really care about what you are or aren’t supposed to do?” Brancon asks derisively. “Not even law enforcers care enough to regulate it properly. All you have to do is deliver it, okay? And we can up the price if you want compensation or if you get caught, we’ll pay for all of that”

“Who are we delivering it to?” James asks.

Brancon shrugs. “Y-39. Like I said.”

“And who’s going to receive it once we get it there?” James clarifies.

“I don’t know,” Brancon says. They flap their arms (or what might be arms) about a bit. “I’m just the messenger. I don’t know. They don’t tell me much. All I heard was something about a Black.”

Sirius feels his breath get caught in his throat. “I left something in the ship,” he hears himself saying, already starting on his way back to the Gryffindor. “I won’t be a second.”

He can feel Lily and James look at him, and then at each other, and Remus’s concern falls off of him in waves. Sirius can’t tell if it’d be worse if they followed him, or if they didn’t.

He can almost hear James say, “we’re going to take a minute to talk about this. We’ll be right back,” and then the three of them take a few steps away. He can see their lips moving, but he doesn’t listen to their words. He just walks back and back until he gets to their ship, and then he collapses on the doorstep and wonders how everything went so colossally wrong.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It’s not that he wasn’t aware that everything was utterly fucked; it’s hard not to be aware when you get shot down by death eaters and are constantly followed murder plots from your family. It’s a different thing entirely to have to deliver toxic substances that will probably be used to kill you to the very people who are planning to use them.

It’s a whole different league of fucked up, one that Remus seems to understand well, given that he’s the first one to find Sirius when Sirius had been expecting Lily.

“That can’t be very comfortable,” he says. Sirius watches his legs from underneath one of the engines. “Sirius?”

“What.”

“We don’t have to take this job,” Remus says, and it’s an echo of words Sirius already knows. “We could just take it and dump the sulphanide in deep space and then no one could get it.”

“That’d be irresponsible,” Sirius says. It’d also be a bloody great idea, and its miles more desirable than delivering the drug to the family. “We shouldn’t do that.”

“We could,” Remus says. He settles down opposite the engine, and Sirius admires the ties of his laces and the bends of his knees. “Teddy’s looking for you. So are James and Lily.”

“How did you know I’d be in here?” Sirius asks instead of responding to Remus’s statement. He knows Lily and James are probably looking for him.

“You weren’t in your bunk, so I came here next,” Remus explains, “I didn’t actually know if you’d be down here. But then I got here and I just thought ‘how could you be anywhere else?’. Lily’s still looking for you under the lifeship docking.”

Sirius breathes out his laughter through his nose. “Right. And James?”

“He went straight to the control room. Not sure why, given that I’m fairly sure you’d have taken right off if you went there,” Remus says. His foot taps against the ground.

Sirius isn’t sure at what point Remus became able to understand him so easily. “You’re right,” is all he says, because Remus doesn’t seem like the sort of person to need confirmation for things he already knows. 

He hears Remus’s hair brush against the wall of the engine room as he, presumably, nods. He doesn’t say anything else though, and the silence is somewhat comforting. Comforting in the way that one might find the overarching threat of chemical terrorism and other such nonsense reassuring. In the way that love could be a comfort, if comfort meant a bone deep familiarity with broken hearts. In the way that life could only be considered comforting if it were actually being lived. 

Sirius is fairly sure, now, that he isn’t living. He’d meant what he said to James: how he’d lived enough, and he stands by it. The several years spent gallivanting across space with his best friends, running into trouble and running faster to get out of it are some of his best memories, and he’s confident that if he didn’t wake up tomorrow, he wouldn’t be left wanting. 

But despite not missing out on anything should he die at some point, Sirius knows that what he’s doing now doesn’t count as life. He’s living one breath to the next, bouncing paycheque to paycheque, chasing after his parents as they try to have him assassinated, and his entire focus is on making sure he can catch up to them before they catch up to him. It doesn’t leave much room for social interaction. But having Remus here, and now Teddy, is slowly reawakening all the needs and wants he’d spent so long suppressing and placating with James and Lily.

For all it’s his so-called destiny to travel amongst the stars, and despite how he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, space is overwhelmingly lonely. Depressingly so. And even on the days where Sirius isn’t alone, the vacuum pressure outside their ship seems to worm its way in through the doors, and all of a sudden, just for a moment, his heart is the only one beating.

Remus does eventually ask, “do you want to take this job?” He sounds reluctant to say it, reluctant like he doesn’t want to take it either, and for good reason. Sirius doesn’t even want to think about what the family would do if they got their hands on Remus. “You know, we could hire a commercial ship and take Teddy and just get the fuck away for a bit. Let Lily and James clear up this mess. God knows you need a break.”

Sirius agrees with him. He  _ does  _ need a break. But the guilt he’d feel leaving James and Lily would be immeasurable - even if he were coming back.

Remus must see his hesitance and see right through it. “I’m sure James and Lily would like the opportunity to have the ship to themselves for a bit,” he says.

“Yeah,” Sirius says. He inhales deeply. On the one hand, running away with Remus and Teddy sounds… perfect. On the other, he’s not sure that he won’t be so preoccupied that his company will be totally unwanted. “Okay,” he decides, partly on a whim and partly because space is stifling. 

“Okay,” Remus agrees and it’s as much of a promise as anything could be, given he could wake up six feet under tomorrow with only a memory of his beating heart. “We’ll go.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Perhaps he ought to feel more guilty than he does, once they finally manage to bundle Teddy into a spare jacket that’s several sizes too big for him and James orders them a transport ship. Perhaps he ought to stay, and hold James’s hand tight enough to bruise and prove to himself that he can see this through, that he has to, and he’ll protect his friends while he does. 

As it is, James and Lily seem all too eager to get rid of them. She hands them the handheld weapons and her spare nav-goggles, and all but shoves Sirius into the transport ship with nothing more than a grin. 

Everything happens so quickly that Sirius can’t be sure it even happens at all. He’s half expecting to wake up in his bunk, just about to pull into Y-4X. Even as he blinks, they’re gazing out the window of the transport ship, Remus on one side and Teddy on the other, watching Lily and James and the Gryffindor fade into the depths of space. 

Remus puts his hand on Sirius’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Sirius nods, and it’s not a lie. It’s not even part of a lie. “Yeah,” he says. His voice wavers. It feels so decidedly final, even though it’s not, to be flying away from James and Lily. He hasn’t flown without them since he first touched the control panel of a ship, and it’s one part exhilarating, two parts terrifying. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“All birds have to fly the nest some day,” Remus says, matter of factly. Teddy’s hand finds its way into Sirius’s. “But we’ll return home.”

Sirius bites his lip. Space has never felt so painfully infinite and world-achingly small at once. “I know,” he says. He entertains the thought that home would be wherever Remus is, and the very notion is enough to make his heart seize.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Maybe he never has. Sirius wonders what it says about him that he’s not entirely bothered by that, as long as he has Remus and Teddy, and Lily and James by his side.

“Where are we going to go?” Teddy asks. He sounds remarkably unbothered by everything. Sirius, at least, is glad to get him out of their ship and into hopefully safer territory. 

“Wherever we want,” Remus says. His voice is warm and soft, and maybe the most relaxed Sirius has ever heard it. His words wrap around the transport ship in the best way possible, and for once, when Sirius entertains the thought that maybe they will get out of this and he actually believes it.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

They end up on a sort of aqua-vacation ship touring some of the lesser systems. Sirius has hardly heard of some of the planets they pass, but Remus is enamoured and Teddy seems to be enjoying himself, so he does too.

The vacation ship itself is incredible, and Sirius would be more than content to stay there for the rest of his life. The engines run off of aqua power, so there are glass tubes running water across the ceilings of each and every room, tracking to and fro everywhere. It means there’s a steady rush of water in the background, and it makes a lovely sort of white noise in the place of vacuous space. 

Sirius stays in the corners of the rooms, with his back to wall and eyes tracing over everything, almost obsessively. Remus and Teddy press their noses against the windows and stare openly at everything they can. It fills him with an unidentifiable sort of emotion to see it, but Sirius would be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

The PA system comes to life, crackling with dust that speaks to its age (Sirius is fairly sure it’s about forty years old at least, but there’s some sort of quintessential charm to it), and announces, “if you look out the windows at starboard, you’ll see us passing the meteorite collection Magnussen.”

Sirius wanders over to the starboard windows, looking out at the meteorites. Magnussen. It looks just like a clump of medium sized rocks to him, all of them covered in a pink coloured sort of haze. When he glances over to Remus, however, he’s all but drooling down the window. He watches as Teddy reaches out to push Remus’s jaw shut, and stifles a laugh.

“In the past, this collection has been used for power generation and energy storing,” the PA system continues, “However, the collection has been drained of all power and has been left for decay. The rocks are now totally harmless, and have been orbiting around one another since they were abandoned. There are currently no plans to reinitiate power generation with them, or mine them for resources, so we’re left with a a group of beautifully affected stones, to watch as they disperse and die.”

It’s almost sad. Sirius dips one toe into the pit in his stomach before deciding better of it, and shuffles closer to Remus. 

Remus doesn’t seem to consciously register his presence, he just starts talking. “Look at the gaseous matter surrounding each of the rocks,” he says. Sirius is almost jealous of the attention the meteorites are receiving, before he shuts down that train of thought before it can crash into the station. “I would love to get my hands on some of it. There must be some interesting components, especially if these meteors did spend so long as energy churners. Imagine what you could do with it.”

“What could you do with it?” Teddy asks. Sirius rather thinks it’s like staring down a floodgate when asking Remus questions like this.

“You could do anything,” Remus says, and he sounds entirely serious. “They say that the system has been out of commission, but there would still be energy remnants, which would be more powerful than expected. Especially out here, when the atmosphere is what it is. It’s almost dangerous, really, to conduct energy production given what they are.”

Sirius frowns. He looks at the pinkish-red glow covering all of the meteorites. “What could have happened?”

“Oh, it hardly bears thinking about,” Remus says, before he sighs and swallows and continues, “if anything had gone wrong, just slightly wrong, we could have had a massive energy spillage. It likely wouldn’t have reacted well with the atmosphere out here and would have caused the explosion of the century.”

“Why would they produce the energy out here then, if it was so dangerous?” Teddy asks.

Remus turns to look at him. “I don’t really know. You’d think the safety and continued existence of space rocks and species would be most important, but some people think natural energy production tops that, I suppose. Also convenience. These meteors were already here, in this formation. It’s much quicker than building turbines to generate the power.”

“Or building water ducts,” Sirius says. As if to punctuate his words, the tubes above their heads give an ominous gurgle.

“Or water ducts,” agrees Remus, “although, really, water generation is fascinating. I know I’m chemist by trade, but I’d give anything to poke around in one of those aqua engines for a bit. You know, Tonks played about with one for a while when we were in school. I was never allowed to get too close, she was vastly overprotective of it.”

“For good reason, I assume,” Sirius hazards a guess. He’s not heard much about what Remus was like while he was in education, but Remus’s sheepish grin tells him everything.

“Charlie and I had a tendency to experiment on things that didn’t necessarily warrant experimenting on,” he says. “Still, it would have been nice to have a closer look. I’m sure we could have come up with something to double its productivity.”

Aqua engines are already regaled as some of the most effective on the market. Sirius would rather like one, if they were able to afford it (and if it were compatible with their ship). Half to play with, and half to equip the engine room with.

“Maybe we’ll get one,” he says.

He’ll have to knock out some of the walls and floors to make space for the water ducts, but once they do that, it should be able to supply warm and cold water throughout the ship, controlling the internal temperature, as well as powering their engines. It’s a price worth paying, and they’ll be remodelling anyway.

Remus looks at him like he’s just been offered the entire galaxy in the palm of his hand. “We’d work on it together? I’ll figure out a way to optimise it for the Gryffindor.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” Sirius says. In fact, he was rather counting on it. 

  
  


✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dinner is served aboard the ship, a mixture of Martian classics and ancient delicacies. Whilst Sirius can’t stomach most of it, the spread is appealing, and Remus seems willing to try anything once. It’s amusing, watching Remus try fermented sparrolet and roasted hawthen bites. Whenever he doesn’t like something, his face twists up into a grimace, scrunching his nose like a rabbit.

They manage to wile away several hours, making it well into the evening as Remus and Teddy make their way through nearly every food on offer. Sirius sticks to a plate of familiar dishes as a precaution - he’s not particularly desperate to vomit in front of Remus. 

Remus picks up a sliver of a red fish-like meat and sniffs it cautiously. He turns it this way and that, trying to identify it.

“Sashimi,” Sirius says, “tuna. Lily likes it.”

Remus gives him a smile. “What is it?”

“Raw fish,” Sirius says, “Sapient fish. It’s really rare nowadays. It’s traditionally from Japan, on Earth.”

“It’s raw?” Teddy asks, making a face.

Sirius chuckles. “It’s safe. Here, dip it in this.” He nudges a small bowl of soy sauce towards Remus. He dips the fish tentatively, like he’s not sure yet whether he’s going to trust Sirius on this or not.

“Are you sure it’s edible?” Remus asks.

“You just ate jellied cruisexer and you’re asking if that’s edible?” Sirius says incredulously.

Remus’s cheeks flush ever so slightly. “Yeah, okay.” He watches the fish for a few more seconds, like he’s half expecting it to come back to life in his hand, before putting it in his mouth and chewing slowly.

“Good?” Sirius asks.

Remus swallows, and makes a face that makes Teddy and Sirius both laugh. “It’s not… bad,” he says. He looks like he hardly believes a word he’s saying. “Maybe I’d like it better if it was cooked.”

“I think it looks gross,” Teddy declares. 

“Mmh,” Remus says. He purses his lips. “I think I’ll stick to the cruisexer.”

Sirius makes a face to rival the grimaces Remus has been demonstrating. He eyes the cruisexer carcass doubtfully. “I’d take fish over that any day.”

Teddy nods, “me too.”

Remus shrugs. There’s still some meat left on it’s bones, and he carefully picks it off. “More for me then. I think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.”

“You can’t have tasted many things, then,” Teddy says.

“No,” Remus agrees. His mouth twists into a sad sort of pucker. “I think my mother used to make some really nice food.”

“Like what?” Sirius asks. He’d only eaten food prepared by the chefs at home, and those meals had all been previously selected by his parents. 

“She pickled things,” Remus says, “anything. Everything. We ate a lot of salamander tails.”

“I’ve never had them,” Sirius says. He doesn’t mention that he’s never had them because his mother thought salamanders were too common, despite them being a widely renowned delicacy.

Remus nods once or twice. “They’re nice. Crunchy. We ate them a lot before…”

“Before what?” Teddy asks.

“Never mind,” Remus says. He piles a few more fried shujansi on his plate, and a couple on Teddy’s as well. Sirius wonders if he’s actually still hungry, or if he’s looking for something to do with his hands.

“Well, have you ever had yfanka?” Sirius asks. Yfanka is a fairly common plant, used in most salads, but Remus and Teddy both look like they’ve never heard of it. “It’s a leaf. A really big leaf. Some people use the leaves as plates, but a lot of the time, they’re shredded down into strips and put into salads. You find them everywhere.”

“What do they taste like?” Remus asks. 

He shrugs. “Kind of watery. Nothing special. It’s like a placeholder for lettuce.” Sirius aligns the cutlery beside his plate. They’ve all finished eating, and Teddy is half asleep.

There’s a niggling feeling of contentment growing in the corner of Sirius’s brain. If every day were like this, he thinks, he’d be happy.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The rooms on the vacation ship are spacious. Remus tucks Teddy into the single bed room, where he drops off almost immediately. Sirius squashes the urge to kiss his forehead.

Then it’s just him and Remus in the almost-dark of the master room. Remus commandeers the bed, so Sirius sinks into the loveseat in the corner of the room. It certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s ever slept on, and the cushion covers are velvety and warm.

He can just about see Remus flop backwards on the bed, sprawling like a puppet with it’s strings cut.

“Sirius?”

Remus’s voice is loud in the low light. “Yeah?”

“You don’t have to sleep on a sofa tonight. There’s plenty of space in this bed for two.”

Sirius sits slightly more upright. Remus hasn’t moved. “Right. I just… wasn’t sure if you’d want to be alone,” he starts to say.

“I’d rather you slept on a bed with me than on a sofa,” Remus interrupts. “It’s just sleeping.”

Sirius stands up off of the loveseat and moves over to the bed. Remus shuffles slightly to the left, leaving space for him on the right. It’s not a small bed by any means, but Remus is a rather tall fellow with a penchant for curling into a tight ball, so his knees poke Sirius’s side when Remus rolls over to face him. Sirius is surprised by how little he minds.

“Now what,” Sirius says. He’s been close to Remus before over the past few weeks, and something about facing a near death experience together tends to establish some sort of bond, but it’s entirely different from being alone in a dark room together. Remus’s knees feel exceedingly hot against his hip.

“What are you thinking about?” Remus asks. His voice seems quieter now, but louder all the same, like some sort of pressure upon Sirius’s ear.

Sirius waits a few moments to reply. “What are we doing here?”

“We’re talking,” Remus says, “we’re having a break.”

“Are we?”

Sirius turns his head just in time to catch the flustered little smile Remus puts on. “Maybe this is an elaborate ploy on my part, just to get you alone,” he says.

“Is it?” Sirius asks. He can’t tell if Remus is joking - he’s not sure if he wants it to be a joke or not.

Remus sighs. His breath moves the hair by Sirius’s ear. “I don’t know. I don’t really know if it’s appropriate to be pursuing a romantic relationship given, well. Everything.”

Sirius rolls over so he can face Remus. “Everything?”

“Your family is trying to kill you,” Remus says, “you accepted me into your ranks on a whim. We landed on a planet that technically shouldn’t exist and found a child there, and now we’ve taken that child and are looking after him. It’s not exactly a prime scenario.”

“But…?”

“But I still want to kiss you,” Remus says quietly. Sirius watches as he bites his tongue, chewing the inside of his cheek. He finds himself leaning ever so closer, unable to stop himself until there's barely an inch between them, and Remus’s breath is hot against his cheeks.

“You could,” he says. It’s like playing tag with the Devil. “Kiss me, I mean. You could kiss me.”

He’s close enough to see the bob of Remus throat as he swallows, and each individual eyelash and freckle and pore on his face. “Okay,” Remus says. 

Remus’s lips are soft and warm, and it only lasts a few seconds before he’s pulling back. Sirius watches as his eyes dart around like he’s not sure what to do now. He settles for resting one of his hands on Remus’s cheek, rubbing his thumb across Remus’s undereye. His golden sort of blush is glowing beneath Sirius’s hands.

“Again?” Sirius asks, even if there’s no point because Remus is leaning closer already. Sirius is quite sure he never wants to leave this moment.

He knows they’ll have to talk about it in the morning. There’s a distinctly high chance that this is going to ruin everything between them for a long time, but right now, Sirius can’t bring himself to mind. Remus is warm and beautiful and there, and that’s enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! i could have made this longer but like.... i like ending here. ive broken 60 pages on google docs,,,, this is so fun.
> 
> let me know what u thought! thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> ive been working on this for SO LONG and im incredibly excited. 
> 
> so i dont exactly have the best track record with multichapter fics, and as such wont be setting an official 'schedule'. that said, comments feed the muse, so please let me know what you think of it!! (comments. please. i beg for them.)
> 
> also: this isnt going to be relevant for at least another three chapters but it IS incredibly important, so if i were to introduce harry into this fic, what would we think? like, give me some opinions on that please. thank you.
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading. i hope u liked it!


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